I had been in agony on and off since my waters broke at 2am on Wednesday 4th November.
In between bouncing on a birthing ball, getting in and out of a birthing pool, dragging the gas and air to the toilet every ten minutes, sounding like a dolphin (apparently) and after the final relief of an epidural (thank heavens for the doctor who invented that!) On the 6th November 2009 at 9.17am Scarlett Rebecca Westlake finally made her entrance.
A very quiet entrance, so quiet I wasn't even sure she had been born but she was put on my chest and we looked at each other and had a moment.
I thought: 'What the hell am I supposed to do with her?!'
Scarlett, I imagine looked at me and thought: 'What the hell am I going to do with her?!'
After fumbling our way through screaming nights (me and her) I can't believe my little baby is 5 today.
We have made our way through the windy road of being a parent and child together and although there have been some boulders in our way and tears and tantrums, I am so happy and proud of where we are today.
It's a shame that me and her Dad are no longer together and unfortunately I can't see her today as she is with him but I count myself as one of the lucky ones as at least her Dad actually wants to see her and I will never stand in the way of that.
And on the plus side she gets 2 parties! What kid wouldn't love that?! No, it's not the same but unfortunately it's not a rare reality for a lot of parents today.
As long as we both do our best for her and always and give her copious amounts of love and care, I hope she will one day understand that it is better this way.
Happy birthday Scarlett xxx
(Poor kid has gone my nose. I hope she doesn't hate me in later life!)
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