Dog.....sitting

Blog 28^th June

Question of the day....is the library the best place to do a spit bubble?

“No do it at the park” was the charming boy’s grandmother’s response. Makes me glad that I have a girl, we were side by side colouring in pretty pictures of flowers, when I overheard their conversation. It helped to think of that conversation at 2am when I am fighting the urge to eat a whole box of cereal.

I am still on the 8 hour diet, I haven’t exactly ‘read the rules’ so I’m fasting between 8pm and 12pm every day, I feel good. I even put a square of chocolate in my mouth at 9pm and spat it back out because I didn’t want it. I have eaten chocolate and a Chinese takeaway today but as long as I am fasting I think I am alright, oh and must not forget to do my 65 squats tonight.

My brother and his girlfriend brought their down with them to my parents today, they live in Dorset so we haven’t seen them much recently or their puppy Tina. I was actually quite scared of dogs, winced and picked up Scarlett if one came near us- even though they could smell my fear! But today my eyes have been opened, she was such fun, I even took her for a walk round the block on my own and now want a dog of my own, i would HAVE to get by butt off the sofa then! But seeing as I live in a flat that’s an impossibility, so I am going to call the Dog’s Trust in Shoreham tomorrow to volunteer to walk their dogs. Me a converted dog lover! I haven’t always disliked dogs, I used to love them but I had become a bit wary of them. But now, get me in a house so I can get a puppy!

Trying to send fan mail is like trying to find the Holy Grail, after searching and searching I stumbled across a website for fans writing to celebrities and people actually do it for a hobby! I want to give up and I haven’t even started yet. I want to send Ville Valo from the band HIM my short story and a letter to go with it see below, just as a joke really but seems the joke is on me and no one from the band will ever see it. It’s not like I want a response I just wanted to send it as a fan;  

The below letter/ short story is a joke so don’t worry I am not about to stalk you. I must confess I need a slap on the...wrist. I was an avid HIM fan when I was younger, going to gigs and religiously buying the new albums. I even tried to learn Finnish, which is ruddy hard! I tried to get a pen friend online but that turned out rather fruitless. Maybe I should get a tutor? Anyway so the teenage fan turned into a woman and a mother (Now single in case you were wondering) HIM was a distant memory until Love Metal came on my computer, I didn’t even know it was on there. It brought back a flood of emotions and my teenage stories inspired by HIM songs have been updated and posted online.

Below is a short story/letter that I wrote entitled Dear Mr Valo which I entered into a competition and have posted online at www.booksie.com/hearthit it had over 50 hits in a couple of days. I hope it wins and I hope you like it!

Dear Mr Valo

This will be my last letter to you. I'm sorry to leave you with the burden of your broken heart. I just can’t be a part of this anymore.

Thank you for the beautiful song you wrote for me. Although your words still encircle me, I can’t keep on pretending. I know you want me in your arms and you want the world to know how you feel. I suppose, I'm just not that into you. Cruel I know, but at least I will help you write some more heart wrenching songs. Feel free to send me the royalties.

I have so much going on in my life right now. I'm travelling the country west to east (Sussex that is.) just like I said I would. One day I’m hoping to get the train up to Edinburgh. That would be exciting!

I'm still in the chippy, round the corner where I first heard you. I will always remember that first time when your voice came through. I thought there was a deep throaty angel purring in my ear but I’m immune to your sound now. I do feel sadness, but just for you and your microphone. I'm surprised it hasn’t got an illness from you breathing all over it with your 40 a day habit.

I saw the picture you sent too. Honestly that's the tenth one this week. I might have to get a restraining order out against you. (Not sure if I should of told you that. Oh well I’ve just enough time to email the police to enquire. Mr Boobalon gets in such a flurry if I'm even 30 seconds too late. He says the chips go soggy and it’s my entire fault.)

Where was i?....oh the picture. Yes very nice (jaw droppingly gorgeous.) But I have seen it all before you’re not going to win me over. I must say it was a very suggestive pose and not suitable for children, or the faint hearted. Please make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands or it won’t just be me who sends the boys in blue to your door. 

So this is it. The End. Finished. Thank you for the love, but you can keep it. Put it in a nice little box with a Scarlet ribbon around it till someone else wants it.

Was forever yours but not now

Becky Frew.

P.S  I know have only seen you on the telly and heard you on the radio and the pictures you sent me are from your fan website to my inbox. But this could be our love affair, think about it.

P.S.S Or don’t whatever. I probably wouldn’t bother replying anyway.

My inbox name just in case

XBFheartValoX

I love you xxx

Listened to their new song ‘Tears on tape’ every time I think ‘tits on tape’ I don’t know why.  But at least I know what I will get for my first tattoo, what I did want years ago a heartagram, sorted. Just need to book it in and get the ball’s to get it done!

See ya I’m off to look at cute pictures of puppies.

I'm single and happier than ever, Yes really, really happy!

I’m single and happier than ever- yes really, really, happy!

Ask a man if he is happy being single and the general response will be

“Yes, I don’t have to deal with someone moaning at me or asking me to watch animal hospital or some rubbish. I can eat what I want, I can watch what I want, I can laze around when I want, I can do whatever I want whenever I want.”

Well ditto boys!

I’ve done the whole dating thing since splitting up with my daughter’s father last year. I even signed up to a dating website because I thought ‘that's what I should do.’ I have had guys I have known barely 2 weeks bring over coffee because I don’t have any and they don’t drink my green tea. I’ve had the remote taken off me and the football put on and had to watch man programmes like Storage Hunters (OK I actually liked that one and still watch it long after the bloke has left) I had to deal with the moans and groans while I watched my programmes like The Tudors and Casualty. One even took a 3 hour bath, topping it up every few minutes, I informed him that ‘I now have to pay for my water by the drop! So get out!’

So when told the last guy I was seeing that my door was closing to him, I meant it is now shut for all men. Well potential boyfriends, I can still have guys that are friends over (YES THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) I did briefly wonder if I should go back onto the dating website, just in case my dream tattooed hunk of a man was waiting for me, but I have decided he can wait. Until I was invited to dinner by my friend, she is arranging for all of our friends and their boyfriends to go to dinner. I would be going alone dun, dun, duuuuun! Panic! Then calm and ask myself why am I panicking?  

I am not on an eternal quest to find a man to accompany me to dinner or a party, I am on an eternal quest to find my own happiness. If I find that and a man comes along and fits in with that, then great, but If not then I don’t care if I’m ON MY OWN. I am sick of being asked “Where’s the boyfriend?” I didn’t realise I needed one to walk me down the road, or to go to the supermarket or to a three year olds dress as Daisy the cow party.

Women who are coupled think ‘oh she must be so lonely’ but I’m not that boring that I can’t entertain myself. Society wants to put us singletons in a box titled SINGLE= SAD and LONELY. What about we change that to SINGLE= STRONG AND EMPOWERED. We don’t need men or partners attached to us like some limp donkey. I have stayed with blokes that I knew I didn’t want to be with because I didn’t want to be alone. But why was I putting myself through it? I knew I didn’t like them, it wasn't fair on them or me but still I limped along with them. But No More, I don’t need to, I am happy with who I am, I don’t need security from a man to feel that.

So I will go to party’s on my own and I will go to dinners on my own, because I don’t need a partner with me to make conversation. I am quite capable of talking to people, I’m a big girl now. In fact I am looking forward to going to the couple-y dinner, then getting a big chocolate on the way home to eat all by myself in my king size bed, while watching animal hospital. Bring it on!

Banana Phone

Banana Phone Blog 27^th June

Scarlett is talking to her Grandma on a banana, oh and a pepper and anything else that fits nicely in the palm of her hand. She is chattering away which is the cutest thing ever! But I am also quite jealous that she is eating as I am not fasting from 8pm until 12pm tomorrow.

This fasting malarkey is hard, last night I had to resist the urge to eat a whole box of cereal, I also had to turn off Hell’s kitchen as I couldn’t watch them cooking delicious food and I am constantly having to stop my mind from telling me to get a Mc Donald’s breakfast in the morning. I am trying to concentrate on busying myself with other projects, the other day I mentioned I was going to a Samaritans volunteer meeting. I went and it was incredibly interesting but I have decided that I don’t have the time to commit to be a listening volunteer, but I don’t want to render myself useless to them so have signed up to help with some admin work.

I have also just realised that I am sitting here in the dark and first thing on my list tomorrow is to buy a light bulb! It blew about 2 months ago but I still haven’t got round to getting one, I have a standing lamp, that doesn’t do much standing because the bottom is broken and it keeps falling down and hitting the table making me jump, I have made a note to not watch any scary movies until after I have thrown out the lamp and got a bulb for the main light.

Now I am totally freaked out, while researching books form the 90’s for an article I have scared to report that Goosebumps Night of the Living dummy has 2 sequels! I do not like that at all, but I am intrigued so will see if I can find them at the library and flick through them to see if they are as freaky as the first. Even the picture on the front gives me Goosebumps, which Is the point but, ok need to think about something else, otherwise I will have nightmares tonight!

55 squats ka boom! Yes I say that proudly it’s the most exercise I have done in a week and I have kept it up for two day now, even thought I am ashamed to say that I have just read on Facebook one of my old school friends has done 8 exercise classes in 4 days. Ka plunk.

I don’t know who I was kidding when I thought I could sketch, so here is a picture of a male model hunk who I picture Caspian from my novel Blackmail and Betrayal to look like, which has now had over 60 hits. I feel like a rock star! So proud, I am even looking into sending it to publishers to see their response and if they don’t like it then I will self publish it for a price. I need to look into how to do it, but I found out today that Beatrix Potter self published ‘The Tail of Peter Rabbit’ in 1901 after 6 different publishers rejected it. She paid to have 250 little books made with the pictures she had drawn in black and white, then a publishing company saw them and said they would publish it if she did the pictures in colour. In 1902 Frederick Warne & Company published ‘The tale of Peter Rabbit’ with colour pictures. How inspiring.  

Right I’m off to bug some publishers with my work oh and Ville Valo from the band him, I want to send him a short story I have written which has had over 50 hits, so I think he should read it seeing as it’s about him and I entered it into a competition.

Ta Ta!

Mmmm Yummy!!

And breathe

Blog 26^th June 2013

Soooo, how was mediation I hear you ask??? Well I’m sure it was wonderful for the people who actually went. I was tucked up in bed after projectile vomiting all day with the worst stomach cramps I have had since I had food poisoning. (That I got from a restaurant, not my own cooking) The worst thing about being ill is when you sit up in bed and know you don’t have time to run to the toilet, so you have to try and decide where the best place to vomit is. Well I didn’t have time to get a towel, my vomit hit the wall about 2 feet away, went all over the carpet and some abandoned pants on the floor. It came out a particularly ghastly orange colour, thanks to the one I had late the night before.

If that wasn't bad enough I then had to drag myself downstairs to find some towels to clean it up, while trying not to throw up again. I scrubbed the floor with washing stuff for the washing machine and collapsed back into bed. I bought some stuff to clean it properly with today and how expensive it is to clean?! Over a fiver for 2 products that I can’t say have really done much, so I will now have to scrub daily until the orange tinge disappears.

So now next Tuesday will be meditation day, which is annoying because it pushed back the other things I wanted to do on my ‘do something new every week’ oh well onwards and upwards.

I have now written chapter 17 of my novel Blackmail and Betrayal and published it (www.booksie.com/hearthit) just in case you are interested! I have 8 more planned chapters to finish, I never knew I had so many words in me! I have had some good responses from people that have read it, so I’m really happy- can I call myself a writer now?

A ‘writer’ well columnist got my attention earlier though, I don’t usually like dragging the news into my blog as this is a happy place but what this girl said really riled me up. So Josie Gibson (from Big Brother) wrote in her NEW! Magazine column a response to people who called her family ’scum’ after her Grandmother was sent to prison for drug offenses, she said

“Since going on Daybreak to talk about my nan being jailed, I’ve had stick from people on Twitter calling my family scum. I don’t care if people slag me off, but I hate it when they say things about my family. These twitter trolls don’t know the full story. Also I said a few weeks ago that all paedophiles should get tattooed on their forehead and people have tweeted “how can you say that when you’ve got a drug-dealing grandmother ?” how can they compare someone who has got mixed up in transporting drugs to somebody who fiddles kids? What makes it all the more upsetting is that my nan’s really ill at the moment. She’s got an aneurysm on her heart and kidney failure. I don’t think she has got long to live.”

Well Josie, where do you think the drugs that your grandmother was transporting were going end up? In some poor vulnerable person, or even a young person’s blood, speeding up their heart, who should count themselves lucky when they haven’t ended up in hospital or worse- dead. Anyone who transports, sorry “gets mixed up in” drugs is pure scum and I don’t think someone who was convicted of possessing £240,000 worth of cocaine with intent to supply didn’t know what they were doing, if she was innocent why would she go on the run for 12 years?  Paedophiles are scum and so are people convicted of intending to supply drugs. Careful Josie it sounds like you are condoning her behaviour. Maybe it’s best if you let her do her time and talk about your fitness DVD sales instead.

I wonder if she has tried the squat challenge, which I am resurrecting. Starting today I am back on 50, going up by five every day for a month. I have also started on the 8 hour diet, I am looking at the clock now wondering what I should devour in my last 11 minutes, before I fast until 12 o clock tomorrow. Shame I don’t have any chocolate!

So yes I am starting yet another diet Which according to the title I can ‘lose a pound a day on the 8 hour diet’ I am going to do it for 3 days to kick start my weight loss, basically you have to eat all your food in a 8 hour window, then just water in between. I am going to eat between 12pm and 8pm as I find it harder to miss dinner in the evenings. Scientists believe that it burns off excess fat and has also been shown to combat the signs of aging! Yay! Something to help cure my latest worry- wrinkles. I will keep you posted on my progress. Although going by the picture below maybe i should worry about my facial hair more.

I haven’t had time to sketch a picture of Caspian from my novel Blackmail and Betrayal so I will do that tomorrow. Right better get back upstairs, I feel sick again and want to try and clean up the old stuff before I add to it.

Night X

Self publishing 'the failures'

Self publishers ‘the failures’

I was doing some research earlier for a magazine article that I am writing about self publishing and was highly insulted when I came across an article on Yahoo about E L James from 2012 which said;

‘Last month ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ became the best-selling book in Britain of all time. More astonishing is that it began as a “self-published” book, a route to market traditionally taken by less-talented authors who failed to secure a publishing deal.’

How rude I thought! It’s not because I have “failed to secure a publishing deal” that I self publish my work online, it’s because I want people to read my work, and read my work they do. In the first week one of my short stories had over 50 hits, which I was astonished by, I haven’t even told my friends or family about my writing online. I haven’t even tried to get any of it published though a big publisher yet and if I don’t or my work get’s rejected I wouldn’t see that as I had failed because I wasn’t talented enough.

It made me think about what a talented writer is, what they think about, what they write about. In my opinion a good writer is someone who has let someone else read their hard work and that person has enjoyed it; a good writer is someone who takes the time to write down what comes into their heads and lets other people have the privilege of reading it.

Self publishing is a ballsy thing to do, because if you went to a big publisher and it gets rejected, or no one reads it, then no one else knows apart from you. Whereas if you self publish, your work is out there for the world to see and judge straight away.

I have had people from America write to me and tell me that they can see themselves mirrored in my stories; they have been through what my characters have been through. Stories reach to anyone and everyone. I don’t care if 10 million people hate it, if one person likes it and gets enjoyment out of reading what I write, then that makes my day. I glow now just thinking about the comments on my work.

If it wasn't for the world of online self publishing then my stories would just sit redundant on a computer, for just me to enjoy and that is selfish. Without the world of self publishing we wouldn’t have 50 shades of Grey and where would we be without that book? Love it or hate it, you know about it, have read it, have heard the name and even thought you’re ‘not a fan’ you still may even sneak off to the cinema to watch the film when it comes out. 50 shades made Self publishing come alive and made writer’s dreams a possible reality.

Self publishing is not for the ‘failures’ it’s for the winners, the doers, and the determined. It’s for all of us writers, not just for the “good ones” from some pompous opinions. I am even going to post this to my Facebook as I believe that this is a good piece of writing and to the ones that think it’s not, I don’t really care, It’s out there whether you like it or not and you’re reading it right now, self published.

I have also posted a link to this article on the comments below her article.  I will let you know if I get any responses. They will probably point out some grammar errors I have made, damn the ‘failure!’

Read the rest of Emma Lunn’s article: At least 50 Shades richer: How EL James made £20million in 18 months here: http://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/how-rich-is-e-l-james.html

                                                                                       

Candy Crash

                                                                    Candy Crash

How annoying, i have had to set up a new profile because i forgot my password for the old one and it all got too complicated (explained later on) anyway on to my actual post for the day....

Candy crash

Sorry for abandoning you for so long but I have a major problem, I think I am becoming allergic to chocolate and sugar! Every time I have some my head goes all fuzzy and I feel kind of sick, I get a weird head rush and have to have a drink. It first happened when I ate a packet of biscuits for lunch and now whenever I have a bar of chocolate or some biscuits I feel like I have a headache coming on. I feel I have no option but to give sugar up, I will look into it after I have eaten all the biscuits in the tin in the kitchen.

I Put up sign in the kitchen saying ‘coffee break daily 9-5’  in the kitchen is but I only had one nail in the wall and don’t have another one, for some reason it needs two, it’s only a small sign so now its wonky, which I guess is quite apt. Also I don’t actually really like coffee but I couldn’t find one that said green tea, maybe I should invent that along with my new cake.

What does bicarbonate of soda, 2 eggs, icing sugar, plain flour, water, golden syrup and butter make? A gooey mess, I didn’t have all of the ingredients for a cake so used what I had in the cupboards. It came out the same as it went it but from a cold mess to a hot mess, oh well at least it kept me and Scarlett busy for half an hour, 5 minutes to chuck it all in a bowl and 25minutes cleaning up the mess we had managed to make.

Not as messy as when she was ill at the weekend though, Scarlett just started projectile vomiting all over me, there was no warning it just came out. Bless her she went to the toilet and carried on, it was so cute and made me think I will probably be in this position in about 20 years when she has had too much to drink.

Just put my novel link to Blackmail and Betrayal on my Facebook page and feel quite sick! But I have now got 4 fans and over 50 people have read one of my stories which is incredible! I am trying to blog but can’t get onto it on the computer.

I’m only trying to get my Gmail password and I am interrogated asking what other products I use and the date I use them how ridiculous! (I can’t remember when I last logged onto Ann Summers and I couldn’t possibly tell them what products I use)  Then try to log into other email and it asks me what the name of my favourite uncle is when I get it wrong 3 times (I only have 2 uncles) it locks me out for 12 hours. Honestly! So annoyed so now I am going to have to set up another email with yet another password, it’s ridiculous. I do everything through apps on my phone so when I get to a computer and it asks me for user names and passwords I'm stuck. I need a tablet! After I have paid my gas, water, electric, rent, phone and food bills which will leave me with about £1.00 a month so by the time I can afford one something new will have come out.

Right now I have 13 word documents open and six websites so before I make my millionth email address up, I’m going to get my weird cake thing pour half a box of icing sugar into the half full butter tub and eat it with a nice cup of green tea. Ahh bliss!

See you tomorrow, oh yea before I forget, I have come off the dating website, I have fallen in love with my main character in my novel and am concentrating on making him as real as possible, may even try to sketch him tomorrow. My next diet is the 8 hour diet which I will start in a couple of weeks, even I can do a day of eating for 8 hours then nothing after until the next 8 hours, not really sure how it works, will have to look into it. Lastly I have discovered that my try something new, learn something new and read every day is not working so I am going to try something new every week. Tomorrow I am going to a meditation class. I also have an idea for what I want to do next week, which involves stalking some people in a cafe but I will get to that later.

Night!

An old picture but it shows how i am feeling right now! Blah.