"I've stopped crying now..."

"Can I have a cuddle?" Thanks, make me feel like the worst mother in the world! Mind you I have always been a believer in if they are crying about nothing (in this case going to bed) then let them get on with it. They soon get bored and 5 minutes later are all smiles again. Doing that kept me sane when she was a baby. It's the best advice I can give any new parent, if there is nothing wrong, they are clean, fed, winded and watered and are incessantly crying walk out of the room, shut the door and go back in a couple of minutes, when you have both calmed down. Repeat cycle until you have both stopped crying. I can't believe how it was 4 years ago since I was in that hell, I mean when I was going through those blissful baby months. Even since the beginning of this year she is a proper little madam now, in a good way of course. She is such a little character and now having a conversation with her is like talking to my little best mate. I am so happy that at the beginning of the year I finally had the guts to stand up for her and we have built the bridges with her Daddy's side. We still have our ups and downs but I have never seen Scarlett happier or more content (apart from the crying episode tonight.) So with the last day of 2013 looming it's time to look back at what we have done this year: Started a blog Published my stories and poems Been on holiday a few times, St Lucia, Butlins (it is a holiday!) Majorcia, Berlin and Malta Swan in a waterfall in St Lucia Joined the gym (then quit, then joined again, then quit again.) Lost some weight (and put twice as much back on again.) Got a job Been on a dating website Met a new relative Made new friends (got rid of some useless ones) Moved back in with my rents Helped write a magazine Probably a few other things but my diary has pages and pages of blankness where I have lost it so many times, but I am happy again. It's amazing how much changes in a year (I say that every year) I wonder what next year will bring..... Learnt today: Claudius was a Roman Emperor and was married 4 times. His second marriage ended when his wife died on their wedding day. Oh I do pick the cheery ones. Night night, sleep tight x

Get off the road!

Everyone needs to get off the road because I am getting back on it! I am starting my New Years resolutions early. I am a bit scared after the last time I learnt to drive, I screamed practically the whole way through my 3 lessons, stalled 3 times on a roundabout, cried and begged my instructor to take me home. This time it will be different as I am learning in an automatic. Well I think I am, I forgot to check with the man and now need to phone him back. Another New Years resolution I am starting early is to get smarterer. I am going to learn something new everyday. It has come to my attention that I am not as smart as I like to think I am, or I give myself credit for. It was a resolution for 2013 and I did it on and off until the 6th January. The last thing I learnt was "A lot about Billy Connelly" because I had just read a book about him. (I'm not sure if that is how Connelly is spelt, will Google.) So I am going to be a little more ambitious in my learning this year and as I found out I don't know a lot about the people/places/things in articulate, I am going to pick a card everyday and Google the things I don't know. Todays card has Hercule Poirot as a person to describe. Give me half an hour........................ Oh now I feel stupid, he is the fictional Poirot detective man created by Agatha Christie. Oh I was thinking he was like some kind of Roman who died hundreds of years ago like Hercules. Oh well I have learnt something. Ok back to today, so we have been to see Frozen, been swimming and I thought it would be a good idea to make Sunday nights game night. So out comes Ludo, no one is in the mood, we are all tired and Scarlett throws a hissy fit. Well she had been up half the night busy pushing me around her bed after I had gone in there to comfort her when she had been crying. So she eventually went to bed and I thought, ahh yes I feel like watching an oldie, Rebecca by Alfred Hitchcock. I eventually got to watch it after throwing a hissy fit at the TV for 20 minutes screaming "WHY WON'T YOU WORK?!" turns out it helps if the scart lead for the DVD player is in the TV. I swear my brain has melted since having a child and I have got more stress. Rightly so when a new pub in town put a status up on Facebook saying no children under 12 allowed ever and no dogs. I don't care as much about the dog bit but with children bit riled me. What happened to all of the child friendly pubs, Charlie Chalk and random ball pits at the back of pubs? I think people that don't have kids forget that they were once snotty nose children and children will keep coming whether they like it or not because if they didn't, the world would be in a lot of trouble. I would like to say well done to that pub and many others for alienating families, I was under the impression pubs were struggling but I guess if you can pick and choose your customers and be quite cocky about it, you don't need my money. Surely that is discrimination to both Dog owners and parents? Hmm I feel a nice little email being sent their way..... How could you refuse her? Butter wouldn't melt!

Eat your Christmas tree, it's good for you!

I have been doing a lot of Googling in between this boring part between Christmas and New year.

Well it's not boring, but this time is always a bit blah while we wait for the new year to start so we can inevitably break our new year resolutions by the end of the first week of January. (Yes I have used the collective of we, you know you do too.)

So in my blah-ness I have been trying to keep one of my old resolutions....learning something new everyday.

I have Googled:

Things to pounder and the page it took me to asked...If a cow sneezes does milk come out of it's nose?

Shortest horror story.....called knock.The last man on earth sat in a room. There was a knock on the door.
By Fredric Brown.
That freaked me out a bit.

Old wives pregnancy tales (no I am not trying!) They were just the usual how to tell if you're having a boy/girl....pregnant women should stay away from polished furniture (false) I stayed away from polish and anything to do with cleaning while pregnant actully I still stay away from cleaning products, safety first.

Christmas facts.....

If you run out of food or fancy being a bit healthier, look no further than your Christmas Tree.  Parts of it can be eaten and the needles are a source of vitamin C.

And lastly I learnt I won't be visiting the Czech Republic without a partner....At christmas the czech's enjoy a dinner of fish soup. The number of people must be even or the person without a partner will die next year.

How superstitious are you? I'm not testing that one out.

Actually just re-googled to find my source and on
www.myczechrepublic.com it says...the first person to get up from the dinner table after dinner will die. Everyone must get up together.

I don't know if thats better or worse? 

Back to Google.

Christmas splits

I don't know where my Christmas cheer was this year, I just wasn't really feeling it. The most Christmasy I was, was probably today singing Christmas songs at work.

I was one of the mad people dashing around the shops on Christmas eve. I was surprised to see so many women out, I thought I would be surrounded by panicked looking men, turns out us girls weren't as organised this year. Ha who am I kidding?! I always leave my shopping until Christmas eve. I did make a record breaking time of completing my shopping and got all of my presents in an hour and a half though!

Annoyingly with presents people expect them to be wrapped. I can't stand wrapping, so I persuaded a couple of people to wrap up Scarletts prezzies, I'm not that mean to her. My friends and family had to unwrap their presents from plastic bags they were bought in.

On Christmas day once we had opened stockings and a couple of big presents we thought it would be nice to go for a walk....

Scarlett was carried for most of it but then she ran off onto a wooden part of the beach, I ran to grab her and slipped, did the splits, fell on my butt, legs in the air and caught Scarlett with my arm, taking her down with me. Well, she was less than impressed and after a brief cry, refused to talk to me the whole way home. Oops. She was glad to get away from me and go to her Dad's!

Maybe that is why I wasn't feeling it because children make Christmas and without them, it's just another day with an extra large lunch. Or maybe I wasn't feeling it because I had too much lunch and was feeling a bit sick!

Well thank goodness it's over for another year (bah humbug.) Can't complain too much, I did get some wicked things in the Boxing day sales. Roll on next year!

Christmas testing 1, 2, 3.

Christmas is a time for testing how well you really know your friends and family and their test to see how well they know you.

It's a time to rack your brain to see if you can remember anything they have said they have liked, and for you to hope your little hints got through.

It's a time to support local businesses, like the gorgeous little wine shop I fell into and almost had to get a bank loan to get back out of it.

It's a time for panic, it creeps up then you realise it's Christmas eve and you haven't bought any presents. (Did all my shopping in an hour and a half, ahhh yeah!)

It's a time for love.....I love that little fluffy thing and that walking unicorn, therefore I will buy it and Scarlett will (have to) love it.

It's a time for reflection....I shouldn't have eaten all of that chocolate and cake this year.

It's a time for giving, like giving up 6 hours of your life to wrap presents, which is what I have to do now at 10.30pm on Christmas Eve....ha no they are all going in gift bags with tissue paper stuffed in.

Happy Christmas! Don't stress tomorrow, Keep calm....drink wine! X

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Last day of holiday :( but :)

Always one to cause a kerfuffle Scarlett wasn't going to go un-noticed on the last day. She had tried to do her own packing and put everything she could into a brown paper bag which she dragged down to breakfast. Well of course the bag ripped and everything spilled out on the floor in the dining room. More looks from everyone, I politely said we were leaving today and got out of there. it is sad how quick it has gone, although the last day always goes the slowest. I hate it, just waiting around to leave. I want to be transported back home in my sleep. In fact I did dream I was home last night and woke up this morning and was like ahhh damn. Well I say this morning, it was 3am when I was woken by the banshee that has been shouting and screaming waking me every night. I am looking forward to not hearing her, although it is annoying as it would be more interesting if I could work out who she was shouting at and why, it was just loud muffled screams and moans and actually..... oh no. In the last taxi journey back to the airport a young couple got in, the gild beside me and the guy in the front. They hadn't really said anything to eachother then all of a sudden the guy said sternly "It's 4 'o' clock" The girl said "Oh, OK" I then watched her and she went into her bag and popped her contraceptive pill in her mouth. Now that is not getting pregnant team work! Not all down to the woman to remember, what a good guy! Oh you may have notice that Barry/Harry the bear has been absent the last few days, don't worry he has been safe and sound in the hotel. I took a couple of snaps of him by the pool for the nursery to prove he had had a good time and thought this morning that I wouldn't pack him, as if I did Scarlett would be bound to ask for him. So we were just about to board the plane after a last toilet stop, I was laden down with my bag, Scarlett's bag, my coat, her coat, my scarf, Scarlett's bubba and not Barry the bear. I ran back to the shop we had just been in panicking and asking if anyone had seen a big brown bear, the women looked at me like I was mad and told me to go to security. I ran to them shouting about a bear "I've lost a bear! I need to get back through!" They looked at me oddly and let me go back through to the play area "A bear, a bear! Has anyone seen a bear?!" Nothing I ran to the last shop I had been in and found him. I have never been so happy to see a cuddly toy in my life! I thought I was going to have to go back and explain to all the children and staff at the nursery that Barry/Harry liked Malta so much he decided to stay. So Bear safe and sound, we were bumped to the front of the boarding queue (having a child is so handy!) I couldn't wait to get back to the airport, get in the taxi and get home. Of course it didn't work out like that. First we landed at the South terminal and the taxi was waiting at the North terminal. I rushed down to get the luggage so I could get the shuttle back to the North terminal. I phoned my Dad to confirm everything was just going through the 'Nothing to Declare' point when I realised I did have something to declare. I AM AN IDIOT! I had forgotten to book the taxi to pick me up. Apparently I was supposed to organise it with the taxi man on the way there, but at 4am it slipped my mind. I just presumed that it was all sorted as he didn't ask me about how I was getting back. So I had to wait 20 minutes for a train which luckily went back to Worthing. Then when I finally got back to Worthing train station the last 2 taxis were taken by clubbers going into town. I was just about to cry as I had been phoning taxi ranks for half an hour and couldn't get through. So there I was stuck in the freezing cold, with a grouchy child and a crumpled face. Thank goodness there are still nice people in the world. A taxi pulled up and a young couple were just about to get in it, they looked back at me and the woman said "No, let this lady get in she has a child. We can wait." I felt like kissing her. The bloke got my suitcase for me and put it in the taxi and they both waved me off and wished me a merry Christmas. I am eternally grateful to them and am so happy to know that there are still genuinely lovely people in the world. So 6 days, 1 Adult, 1 Child, 1 Teddy Bear and we are all back in one piece. We made it!

Malta day 5 Going to Gozo!

Scarlett knows when I am in a hurry, so this morning she decided to have the biggest breakfast she has had all week. We're running late already after I forgot to set the 2nd alarm (always need at least 2 alarms in the morning. I find 5 in ten minute intervals usually works in getting me up.) 2 bits of toast, ham and eggs and eventually we were back outside waiting for our taxi. Scarlett was throwing her poor bubba and cuddly horsey in the air, I was waiting for the inevitable donk on the head of a person walking past but thank goodness it never happened! Instead Scarlett slipped over, laughed, then farted while trying to get back up and said "Wait, let me do it again!" We got the ferry across to Gozo, which is a sleepy little town. It was so relaxing going around on the open top bus and taking in the scenery especially the Azure Window which is just a wonder of the world. I could have just sat and looked through it pondering all day, I got to look at it for about 2 minutes before being dragged away to find ice cream. luckily I got some photos so I can pretend to be back there. The day went far too quick, we literally just had time to stop for a quick bite at an café and look round the shops. We went to one little shop and the lady which had really cute had knitted cardigans for children. The lady was pointing them out and saying to Scarlett "You like this one?" Scarlett shook her head and flatly said "No." After the lady had pointed out about 5 different cardis and Scarlett had said no to all of them, I apologised profusely and got out of there as fast as I could. She was starting to look quite offended (Both Scarlett and the lady.) We then went for a wonder down the little side streets, where we nearly got run over by a moped, and were called over by another lady to watch her making little lace bookmarks. Again Scarlett was un-amused and we swiftly paid for a bookmark and left. We got back onto the ferry to come home, rushing as usual. We got to the taxi on the other side and Scarlett said "I need a wee wee!" I dashed back into the ferry terminal after begging someone to tell the taxi not to leave without us (there were other people coming back with us in the taxi) the ran back out, got to the taxi and Scarlett said "My Shoe!" Her little ballet pump was lying in the middle of the road waiting to be ran over. Ballet pump rescued, wee wee stop completed and I collapsed into the taxi.....ahh it's all fun and games! Back in the hotel and Scarlett did the funniest thing. I was in the bath and she came in as asked if I could open one of her toys, I said "Yes, of course, please can you hold my book for me? Don't drop it." She Said "ok." Then went "Oooh" and pretended to drop it. It was soooo funny, I couldn't stop laughing! She never ceases to amaze me with everything she does. She is so perfect, although the little perfect angel did cause a drama at dinner. It's inevitable....plastic cup, straw, child playing at dinner time = juice all over child + chair + floor. Cue me running around grabbing all of the napkins I could find while the whole dining room stared. Don't worry, we're leaving tomorrow!

What to do when your child farts at a stranger?...Malta day 4!

Today got off to a good start. I have booked a trip to Gozo tomorrow which is Malta's sister island. It does mean another trip on a ferry so I hope Scarlett is ok with that as when I booked it she said she didn't want to go on another boat. So we were waiting for our transport to pick us up from the hotel, Scarlett was running up and down a ramp, one of the workers from the hotel crept up behind her to make her jump but before he had a chance to do anything she did the loudest fart practically in his face! He bust out laughing and went running inside, I apologised profusely while Scarlett is rolled over in absolute fits of giggles. The guy went inside and I saw him talking to someone pointing at Scarlett and laughing, cue me with a tomato red face again. Thankfully our transport arrived shortly after, although 20 minutes late and grumpy I didn't care, I just wanted to be away from the hotel. Turned out the taxi man was more thank grumpy, he stopped at another hotel and had a go at someone on his mobile in the middle of the street. Another older gentleman got in the taxi mini bus and I felt thankful he was there. We got to Popeye Village and my eyes Popeyed out of my head, the location was absolutely breath-taking. I huge steep hill take you down to the village but I just stood transfixed by the turquoise sea, well for all of about a minute as Scarlett was off running down the hill. We were exploring all of the cute little wooden houses, quietly moseying along, then we went down to play crazy golf having the place practically to ourselves when.....dun dun dunnnnn a heard of chimpanzees came careering down the hill. AHHHH School children! I knew the place was too blissful and good to be true. No sooner had they arrived Olive Oil had kicked us off the mini golf so the kids could get on it. How rude! she is not my favourite cartoon character anymore, not that she was anyway, I don't even have one, but that's now the point. It wasn't all bad though, as it gave us a change to explore the silversmiths quaint shop and go to the Christmas wonderland when they had all vacated. I also got yet more free stuff! A free glass of wine, a free postcard, a balloon butterfly (Which popped and ended up looking rather rude!) and Father Christmas gave Scarlett a Doctors set. The magic show needs a bit of work, 3 tricks and a diabolical silence where the audience claps should have been (3 adults and 3 kids) 6 hours there was a bit too long, although I met Popeye (Who turned out to be from Birmingham!) I felt like time was standing still when we were in the indoor play area. I kept looking at my watch and it said half 3, I was like arrrrgghhh I want time to hurry up and the taxi to come so we can get back to the hotel. I looked at my watch again and realised the pin had come out, I rushed over to my phone and it was quarter to 4! I was sooo happy! I have realised why people have more than one child though, so they can keep each other entertained. I was absolutely exhausted running around an indoor play area, in tunnels, down slides, it was like a mini gym session! I found the man we had arrived with and had a nice chat with him while Scarlett followed his every move and chatted away with him. I have a picture of him randomly so he will forever be in my holiday photos, it's sad that I will never see him again as he was so sweet, but that's life. I got so distracted talking to an old man in the lift who said he had been staying at the hotel for a few weeks and was staying until February as it was cheaper than living in England (£17.00 per day all inclusive! I don't know if that's a good deal?) so I was like wow and got out of the lift and got to the door and was like erm this looks different.... turns out I had got off a floor too early! When I finally got back to my room something was different, the door wasn't locked properly, the balcony door was open and on the inside of the main door there was like a double bolt thing where the key went. There is clearly a sign on the door which states please lock your doors properly when you leave, you think the cleaners would abide! At least nothing was stolen. actually tell a lie my money was stolen...by Scarlett. She went into my purse took out all of the coins without me noticing and then said "Look at all my money!" Cheeky monkey! She is definitely getting special treatment here though. On of the waiters, who looks like a friendly Uncle Fester from The Adams Family gave Scarlett a cute Doggy keyring this morning and at dinner he got her chicken nuggets and chips cooked for her by the chefs which wasn't even on the menu. He also got her a special ice cream which was not available to guests. Lucky little girl, everyone is besotted with her. Why wouldn't they be? She is just like her mother! Ha Ha just kidding! Below...is that not the most beautiful setting for a park? Oh and the random nice man!

Malta day 3!

Day 2 on the top deck of the blowy bus. I thought Malta was really child friendly, ever since we arrive everyone has been cooing over Scarlett totally forgot yesterday we did a bit of exploring around the streets by the hotel and found a brilliant toy, the one we got was a Toy Story book, with a huge poster of Andy's bedroom and 12 little Toy Story figures to go with it all for 10 euro 99c. Which will keep Scarlett entertained all holiday. Oh right yes about Maltese and children....this morning we were driving around and I looked into a café and read a sign which said: PLEASE KEEP CHILDREN SEATED AT ALL TIMES. Erm yea ok because they have the ability to just sit in one chair. Oh and Scarlett felt it was necessary to tell our rep this Morning that we got on the wrong bus last night, which they both found hilarious. Ha Ha wouldn't have been funny if we were sleeping under the stars Scarlett! Anyway today went on a harbour boat cruise, but first stop full English Breakfast! I found a gorgeous little café and it had to be done and the weather was beautiful, just like the start of summer in England. The cruise was even better than I imagined, not just because of the beautiful scenery around the 2 harbours but because it was free! As I had booked the bus trip I got an hour and a half out on the beautiful blue sea. Can't say Scarlett saw much of it as she fell asleep (She was so angry when she went through my photos later she said in a very stern voice "Mummy! Why did you take a picture of me like that?!" it was brilliant!) We jumped off the boat and hopped into a souvenir shop where I bought my best buy of the trip, a gorgeous Christmas scarf cream and green with snowflakes all over it and little houses down the bottom. Well actually for the rest of the afternoon and holiday, it was Scarlett's blanket for when we were on the top deck of the bus. We went along the coast to the Blue Lagoon, unfortunately we didn't have enough time to get off and look around as we were on the last bus but it was stunning all the same. When we got back to the hotel (Which at one point I didn't think we would, the drivers in Malta are nutty)I had a long hot soak in the bath until I was lobster red and hanging arms and legs out of the bath because it was too hot. There is something about going on holiday and having baths, it's much more relaxing not worrying about having a proper deep bath and thinking about how much money it will cost at the end of the month,as all the water is paid for in the hotel bill! At dinner I overheard a family from Burnley which had me giggling through my dinner Dad: "Do you want Whaaa Ice Cream?" Kid: "Huh?" Dad: "Whaa ice cream?" Kid: "WHA?" 5 minutes later the Dad come back with all 3 colours of ice cream including Whaa (White) I couldn't help but think of Benidorm with their accents. They were a lovely family though, just need to make their T's more pronounced, poor kid was very confused. We made it to the kids club tonight, I was the only adult to stay with my child while the other children's parents sat in the bar upstairs, not judging....just saying (Well it was Bingo time) I didn't know how long I could last, I managed to entertain 3 of them playing what's the time Mr Wolf? for about 5 minutes. 2 of the kids didn't even know how to play it, I was like WHAT?! Everyone know how to play that game! We went outside the little room to the patio area where a few other children were playing and being told off by the hotel Manager for climbing into the flower beds, he then looked at me like all of the little rugrats were mine! When he had left I had to tell the kids off for climbing in them again 5 minutes later. Is it acceptable to tell off other peoples children? By that point I had had enough and exactly an hour after we arrived we were snuggled back into our hotel room eating Pringles and chocolate and I was watching Scarlett writing in her books I had bought her from a charity shop. She said she wanted to do writing like me so I didn't want to crush her artistic talent. Tomorrow we are off to the Popeye Village Disney film set, I am so excited!

Malta day 2!

After a rested nights sleep (I did catch 10 minutes on the plane, while holding onto Scarlett's Belt loops to make sure she didn't go walkies. - I'm not a bad mother, I spoke to the mother of the girl Scarlett had made friends with and said she did the same thing.) What's the best way to get around in a new country? A sightseeing bus! I booked a 2 day pass for us to explore Malta and today we were going to the capital Valletta! It took over an hour to get to but along the way we had views of the beautiful blue sea and old building, most of which look one Jenga block tug away from crashing to the ground. But that is Malta's charm, not the modern glass monstrosities which we chuck up in England but places which have real character, places that could tell a million stories. I was surprised at how hilly the place was, little ups and downs and cobbles. I admired (ok stalked a little bit) a woman with thigh high Louboutin's until I got distracted by a little train which toured around the town. Oh and we also went to a 5D theatre which Scarlett didn't like, the chairs moved, we got sprayed with water, and things jumped out of the screen-I thought it was brilliant but Scarlett just wanted to get out of there and get some lunch. So I thought a nice little restaurant with some traditional Maltese food would be lovely, unfortunately the golden arches won and a Maltese Maccy's d's it was. We carried on exploring before I realised we had to run and catch the last bus, unfortunately I jumped on the wrong line and frantically ran down the stairs yelling I needed to get off, the bus driver simply smiled and said "it's ok your bus is waiting for you, I am taking you to it." Oh oops, luckily the bus wasn't completely full, there was only about 10 other people on it. (Cue red face and windswept hair.)

Why is this the 3rd time i have written this?! Malta day 1

Why has technology not been clever enough to seen when you are being a dingbat and save work which you think you have published? I have just sat here for 20 minutes refreshing and reloading. I closed down the computer and waited for my post to appear on my phone app. 30 minutes later nothing! It's completely disappeared! and the stupid computer didn't even have the decency to save it for me! So here we ago again, 3rd time lucky. Right Monday morning 4am wake up was not as painful as I thought it would be. The actual challenge came at the airport. Me along with several other fellow holidaymakers were queuing politely, and were slowly, very slowly getting to the check in desk when a lady starts shouting out last calls for flights "Alicante, Barcelona come to the front. Last call!" Er excuse you? a lot of pushing and shoving and about 10 people have jumped to the front of the queue. 10 minutes later she does the same with again "Gibraltar, come to the front, last call!" Another few people push to the front. So a man behind me calls the woman over and politely says "Excuse me, but we are all waiting here. We have been queuing for over an hour and now you are letting late comers come to the front? it is not on! It's not good enough, we have children and are in the queue and you keep on calling other flights to come to the front." The lady looked shaken up (Although I don't understand why because the man was very polite and not a bit aggressive.) and just said "I'm sorry but your flight is now closing yet I will call your flight in 20 minutes." The man rightly replied and I chipped in "Well what's the point in us all queuing then if we can just arrive late and get called to the front?" With that she welled up and ran off to be replaced by a burley man. I thought one of the requirements to work in an airport was to have a thick skin....apparently not. So next was to get through security, I obviously went in the slowest queue and when I was 3 people away from handing over my passport the camera broke, meaning we came to a complete standstill. After 10 minutes I'm afraid I pulled the child card and politely explained I had to get Scarlett fed before we got on the plane (Which was true) and I pulled off a bump up to the front of the queue next to me. After 3 painful hours (More hours than I had slept) Scarlett made a little friend in the departures lounge, which was a mini rest bite for me and the other little girls mum. Thank goodness Scarlett is such a social butterfly they chatted and played all the way onto the plane but when we sat down I heard the inevitable cry of "Mummy! I need a wee wee!" I looked down at Scarlett and nearly cried (Of course she had said she didn't need to go 10 minutes before we got on) I saw the other passengers giving me sympathetic looks while I explained she would have to wait until the plane was in the air. 20 minutes later and still on the tarmac Scarlett's situation was worsening "Mummy, I REALLY need a wee wee!!" she repeated this over and over like she had for the past 20 minutes The bloke next to me gave me a pitying look, or maybe it was one of worry, as if she had wet herself, he would have been one of the first to know about it. -------------------------------------------------- 3 hours later in Malta ----------------------------------------------- We finally arrived (after visiting the toilet 4 times) got our transfer (after me walking past the person holding the sign and panicking that they weren't there) and arrived at our hotel. Now I'm not being womanist but I am not very good with technology. It took me an hour to figure out how to turn the lights on, turn on the TV and open the balcony door and I thought I was quite intelligent (Well at least a little bit smart.) You would not believe my joy when I turned on the TV and discovered we had ITV, BBC 1 and English kids TV. We just snuggled down for the rest of the night and watched Corrie and Eastenders (I know I'm such a Brit) with Barry the bear. (He could be called Harry the bear, I didn't quite catch his name when I was caught leaving the nursery with Scarlett on Friday and was asked if I wanted to take him with us on holiday. YES......of Course I want to bring it with us!) So I had the responsibility of a 4 year old and a precious nursery teddy bear. I had a feeling one of us wasn't going to get through this trip.....and I was nearly right.

Don't blog, child about!

Scarlett has just deleted part one of my holiday blog by smashing her hand down on the keyboard...... have to re-type it all now, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Miley Cyrus, our childrens idol?

Reading an article this morning on the Daily Mail about Miley's new song, where she glorifys taking ecstasy. Think it riled me a bit....?

Someone really needs to shut this silly little girl up.
She thinks she's so cool and outrageous but all she is, is a sad, lonely, barely grown pup and I'm not shocked by her, I'm saddened.

Should she take responsibility for her actions or are we all to blame for standing by and watching her being exploited?

She's like a child who has done something naughty and we keep appluading her for her silly behaviour. 

Who allows her to be able to influence our children and glorify drugs like they are sweets?

She should be taught if you have nothing nice to say (or sing) then say nothing.

The people who should be looking out for her should be dragging her to the morgue to see how much fun the youngsters laying on slabs are having after partying with 'Molly.'

Such a shame that in order to shed her teenage skin she may well be shortening her life span and that of others.

Only time will tell if she will be another stone too early in the ground.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2527802/Beyonce-takes-aim-Miley-Cyrus-young-star-sings-Ecstasy-new-track.html

Pringles response to my email!

Dear Becky, Thank you for taking the time to contact us. Thanks for writing to us about our chips. We are absolutely delighted that you enjoy them so much – that’s what we like to hear! We are always pleased to get such positive feedback from our customers. We find it very rewarding, and we really appreciate you writing in to share this. We do find that tastes tend to vary and not all flavours are appreciated by everybody. Pringles devotes a great deal of effort to developing products which we hope our consumers will enjoy. All our products are carefully developed and researched, with very thorough consumer tests conducted. Unfortunately The White Choc Peppermint flavour is still to be released in the UK and is only available in the USA at present. Though it could well arrive to the UK next Christmas! In the mean time you may be able to find the flavour on some online stores such as Amazon and Tescos online. As a gesture of goodwill we would like to send you a complimentery voucher, we hope you will accept this voucher towards some pringles products of your choice. Please provide us with your full address so we can dispatch the voucher to you. Since consumer satisfaction is of the utmost importance to us, your comments are greatly appreciated as we endeavor to continually uphold the quality of our products and level of service to you. Kind Regards, Tom Badger Pringles consumer care YAY PRINGLES!!!

How to annoy every mother Gisele

Oh look at me I'm a nice normal mother just Breastfeeding my baby. As obviously every new mother has a hair stylist, manicurist and make up artist on hand while she proves how fabulous she is by breastfeeding at the same time. Keep it to yourself love, instead of highlighting breastfeeding and empowering women all she has done is prove what an airhead she is by pretending to be 'normal.' Congratulations, give yourself a pat on the back for giving mothers another thing to feel insecure about. Yes you're a super model, yes you are gorgeous, but why not post a realistic picture after a long night of breastfeeding, hair sticking up, remnants of yesterdays make up that you managed to put on, smeared down your face and your muffin top poking out of your dressing gown. Or was that just me? I have saved this picture as 'Smug.'

Dear Mr Pringle

Dear Mr Pringle, Your tag line (or slur or whatever ever fancy word is appropriate) has now been well and truly tested 'Once you pop, you can't stop.' True for many flavours of Pringles, so imagine my excitement when I walked into my supermarket and saw MINT CHOC flavoured Pringles! I couldn't wait to get them home and try them. Pop, crunch....hmmmm, crunch, crunch... they are so weird! Yes they taste of chocolate, yes they taste of mint and yes they taste like crisps! (oh are they potato chips or is the debate still on-going?) I didn't know whether to dunk them in my tea or dunk them in a dollop of ketchup (which is what I do with most crisps/potato chips/ savoury crunchy snack not allowed to be called a chip.) So I brought them into my work who were bemused, but I can't say any of them will rush to the shops to buy a packet. I will again though, as my taste buds like being confused. While searching for a contact email for you sir, I discovered you do WHITE CHOC PEPPERMINT FLAVOUR! Where can I buy these? And when did you employ Willy Wonka? (Who has recently come out with a new range of chocolates, including millionaires shortbread, mmm. If he is there say hello and good job from me. Anyway just wanted to say thank you for brightening up my day, I will let you crack on with making tomato ketchup flavoured Pringles for me (please.) I have sent a tube of your mint choc snack (political correctness ay) to my brother in Afghanistan, he is in the RAF and loves all the weird and wonderful things I send (vomit flavoured jelly beans are not high on his please send again list.) So I will let you know what they think. Thanks again! Becky. X

Advent is over

I have just consumed all of the chocolates in my advent calendar.  To be fair I have done quite well, it's the twelth so I've lasted 11 days longer than usual :/

A mothers constant competition

Sleep, wake, shower, wake child  get child washed and dressed, put a load of washing on, was up dishes, make child look immaculate,  meke self look immaculate,  drop child off at school, carry on the rest of day bring perfect.....thats not me.

Wake, shower,  sort through clothes on the floor I haven't worn but are clean, rely heavily on Grandma to sort child out so I can slap on some make up and run out of the door with still wet hair.

Mothering is a competition I don't always win, in fact most days, I'm just glad we're still alive at the end!

Recently, Scarlett has tested my mothering skills with things I didn't think I would have to worry about until shes a teenager. She is going through a pulling down trousers at inappropriate times stage.

If she was a boy, I would be like 'Oh, it's just boys being boys' but now I'm screaming 'I don't want her to be a teenage mother!!'

Reading this book 'The child, The family and the outside world by D. W. Winnicott has reminded me Scarlett is just a little girl growing up and we are both learning together. Of course it's not easy but nothing worth doing ever is, I'm glad I've got my little angel (little exhibitionist) to stumble down with road with.

Oh seriously?! While writing this I just walked in dog poo......

Ballet dancer's lost dreams

And point and lift and pirouette and thats all I know (ok I Googled the last one) but I was a ballet dancer once....sort of.

Well every 6 year old girl was weren't they? I had the pink knitted cardi, purple leotard and pink ballet shoes. I couldn't wait to learn to use the shoes where you went on your tippy toes.

I danced for a few years then one girl made a comment about wanting to dance next to my best friend because i always did and I got in a strop and quit.

Dreams of the tippy toe shoes gone in a flash, I could have been there tonight dancing in the pretty dresses.

Ok I wasn't that good but the Russian ballet performing The Nutcracker tonight were phenomenal. 

So flawless, their feet barely made a sound when they landed. Some of the girls looked like they hadn't met a decent dinner plate in a while and made me feel guilty for eating a bag of chocolate while watching but hey they like dancing,  I like eating chocolate.

Usually anything where in the end its 'all a dream' really winds me up, but this was so magical I was totally transported. I believed it, it was real, in front of my eyes, The Nutcracker came alive.

I forgot all of my worries, I was transfixed and didn't want it to end but obviously like all good things inevitably it is now just a memory.

Scarlett absolutely loved it 'I like the pretty boys!' And now as expected she wants to become a ballet dancer. Best look into how much thats going to cost me then! Oh and the picture is of her being as sophisticated as usual.

So from dreams and memories to reality....The only way is Essexmas is on....