Practicing mindfulness...

It's 11pm, I am sat in the pitch black, alone in my garden which is eerily quiet. 

I considered doing this naked, but after putting the rational part of my brain into gear- I remembered that my garden is overlooked by quite a few houses and I don't want to be questioned by the police in the nude. 

Breathe- in for 6 seconds - hold for 6 seconds- breathe out for 8. Ah, messed that up already...

Breathe- in for 6 seconds- hold for 2- breathe out for 8- repeat. 

Calm is slowly being restored to my aching brain..breathe. 

Voices are getting closer, it's the drunks from town making their way to my back alley (not a euphemism). 

Right, be mindful. Hmm, was commenting on the drunks mindful? Well, I didn't write anything insulting so it was merely a comment. 

Stop getting distracted...be aware of what is going on around you, night birds chattering, the trees blowing in the wind and the rain. Rain? It has started raining. 

Great, bring the washing and loungers in, drop lounger on foot- be mindful, don't use bad language, and...the moment has gone. 

I'm back in my reality with a throbbing foot. Bugger it, I will be mindful tomorrow. 

Ketchup Queen...

I am the ketchup Queen, ask any of my friends or family and they will tell you that I go through a bottle a week.  

I even applied to go on 'come dine with me' and had a whole ketchup inspired menu ready to cook for my guests. Surprisingly, they didn't go for it. My entertainment was going to be a dance to the ketchup song, who wouldn't want to see that?! 

That £1000 was mine, they just couldn't stand that it would be the most epic episode ever and feared the whole of channel 4 would collapse. 

Anyway, I'm over that now, but I recently realised that my ketchup habit was costing me a pretty pound, so I decided to try supermarket own brand ketchup.

If you are a devoted ketchup fan- such as myself, you may recoil in horror, however times are tough and we are all making cut backs where we can. 

This is Asda's own 36p ketchup...

And I have to say, it is actually rather tasty. Chuck it in a branded bottle and no one would be any the wiser (like those people who scoff at sparkling wine, but hand them a glass and tell them it's champagne and it's 'divine darling!') 

So, if you are pinching the pennies (to save up for sparkling wine) try your local supermarkets own brand products- you might just be surprised. 

Now, where is my champagne glass so I can pour in my Lambrini? 

'Smile love, it might never happen!'

When I heard the above scentence being bellowed accross the street in my direction this morning, there were 2 words that I MIGHT have wanted to thrown back in his unshaven face, but I merely smiled back at the beer swigging 'gentleman' and carried on my 'miserable' way. 

Who came up with that insulting sentence in the first place? Who on earth walks the streets with a permanent smile on their face?! For all he knew I had just buried my cat. 

I was in actual fact very happy as I was making my way to McDonald's. Sorry Sir for not smiling gleefully at the time, but I was rushing as I only had 5 minutes until breakfast ended. 

That look on my face was determination, not disdain at the fact that 'it MIGHT never happen'. 

I do wonder what the man who made the above statement, thought won't ever happen for me? 

Things that 'might never happen' for me: 

• Johnny Depp MIGHT not ever declare his undying love for me. 

• I MIGHT not ever win the lottery (it MIGHT help if I bought a ticket). 

• I MIGHT not be living on a tropical island this time next year

• I MIGHT not make it into 'Come dine with me' with my ketchup inspired menu (but I will keep trying). 

• I MIGHT not do my washing up for the 3 day in a row (I've got plenty of paper plates), perhaps I MIGHT not do my washing up ever again! (Don't worry Mum, I'm joking, you don't need to come round and do it for me.) 

• I MIGHT not have any more MIGHT not's but maybe I MIGHT.

So, please don't tell me that it MIGHT not ever happen, as with all things in life- the possibilities are MIGHTLESS. Don't limit me. 

...Look, a winking cat- bet you thought that MIGHT never happen. 

Arundel Jailhouse- my time in the cells...

So, on Saturday I found myself locked up again through no fault of my own. 

I'm not shifting the blame, I was in Arundel Jailhouse as a tourist to learn about the dark and creepy tales contained within its walls. 

Me, Scarlett and my friends (better include them incase they read this!) entered through an innocuous looking door into the candlelight. There were also 2 teenagers that entered with us, they initially mistook me for the tour guide and tried to hand me their money! I know I look scary, but I was a tad insulted. 

My daughter Scarlett's first words once we were in the  entrance to the jail were:

'I don't like it, I'm scared.' 

To which I replied (as any good mother would)...

'You said you are a big 5, it's not real, you'll be fine.' 

Though I did squeeze her tightly as we shuffled through another door into a room which had cells on the right illuminated by a gloomy red light. 

We were then taken into a room and shown a video, which told us of the ghosts around Sussex while banging and scratching noises echoed around us. 

We put our hands on a table with 2 candles on it as instructed and summoned the 'Grey Lady', while all nervously giggling (or was that just me?) 

We were then escorted into the main body of the jail where the cells are. A rocking chair in the middle if the room began to sway and I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. See no evil, hear no evil, go away Grey lady (if we had summoned Mr Grey, then he would have been welcome to follow me around). 

Our tour guide (dressed in a brown cloak) took us back to a time to when crooks, thieves and murderers were thrown into Arundel Jailhouse to await their fate.

Perhaps we might bump into the 'Grey Lady' the 'one armed man' or 'The lovers', all of whom sounded interesting- but I didn't want to see them in the flesh, or the spirit. 

Me and Scarlett sat in the one armed man's cell alone with the 2 teenagers. It was silent until...the ladle on the dimly lit wall started moving, and an arm under a table began wiggling. 

Thankfully, our guide returned and took us to solitary confinement (then I was not so thankful) and the door was closed. After being told about the history embedded in the walls (there are scratches down the walls from prisoners desperately trying to scratch their way out), there was one last scream which reverberated through the cell and something fell next to my feet (don't ask me what it was, once the door was opened - I was off) and we made our way back to the enterance. 

Arundel Jailhouse is a unique attraction, which enables you to really experience a piece of history for a incredibly reasonable price, which is rare these days. 

Adults (13 or over) £5.00

Students and concessions £4.00

Children £3.00 (the jailhouse is not suitable for babies and toddlers.) 

Tours are on Saturdays from 12pm until 6pm and run on the hour and half past the hour. Each tour takes about 20 minutes. 

The only downside is that I wished it was longer however the jailhouse also has comedy nights and blues nights, so it won't be long until I'm back inside again.

For more information log onto:

www.arundeljailhouse.co.uk

365 days of fun, days 15, 16 and 17...

What have I let myself in for?! It's actually really hard to not think of repetitive things to do! 

Ok, day 15...

We made a candle garden jar. In essence, it's a candle in a jar with stickers on it. Scarlett made the candle too a few weeks ago at Weld and Downland open air museum (it's not a really bent one that I bought from a shop, else I would take it back!) 

Day 16...

We wrote fan mail! 

We watched Edward Sissorhands and Scarlett didn't like it when people were mean to him, so wanted to send him a card. I'm going to write a covering letter so we don't look too crazy, though the chances of Johnny Depp seeing it are slim to none, I don't want him to think I'm bat sh*t crazy if he does decide to knock at my door (I can dream). I have the address for his agency in America, fingers crossed we get a response! 

Day 17...

Dancing in the bath. I put on some music (I say some but it was one song 'Happy' in repeat) and Scarlett danced, I even wiggled my bum a bit too (shh, don't tell anyone!) 

Scarlett's blog 26.6.15

Sorry it's been a while since I last communicated with the outside world, but I was silenced by Mother as she wouldn't give me her phone. 

Don't tell her, but I have sneaked off with it and she's currently turning the house upside down looking for it - haha!

So, let's get you up to date...I am a big 5 now and Mummy says it won't be long until I'm 6, so I have to stop asking her to do stuff for me. I asked her to get me dressed this morning and she said:

'Do it yourself!' 

Well, she's going to be a bit redundant if I don't use her as a slave isn't she?! 

I have recently discovered that though she is an ok slave, she is not a very good detective. I hid the TV remote 2 weeks ago and for the life of me, I don't know where I put it. Mummy can't find it either and has been subjecting me to 'game nights'. #smileyface #nosmileyface

She is so enthusiastic when we start a board game, then halfway through, her face darkens and by the end of it she has stormed off after throwing a 'well done' in my direction. 

Her other new 'thing' (it's a different experiment she attempts every week. The diet and no wine ones are going really well apparently - I don't believe that for a cats whisker) is to do something different every day. 

Be it, going for a walk in the woods after school (she said there were trolls and we had to run. She thought it was fun, I was terrified) or going for a bike ride (though that was a disaster too as my stabiliser came off and Mummy had to push my bike home, and was muttering the whole way back), she's attempting to make more effort with me instead of plonking me in front of the TV. 

Not that the TV is any good anymore, turns out hiding the remote was a bad idea and blank screens are no fun. 

Well I best dash as it's Monopoly time again...when will she learn that I'm a winner, not a loser?! 

Gangster Granny vs Porn- David Walliams book review

After growing tired of my Mummy porn collection (which is basically a novel with a bit of bonking, a fantasy man and a half naked person on the front with their lips slightly parted), I decided to go to the other end of the book scale...children's books. 

Now, we all know David Walliams is a funny man, so branching out into children's books was always going to be a winner. 

'Gangsta Granny' tells the story of Ben, his boring Granny and a lot if cabbage. 

Stuck with Granny every Friday night, is the lowlight of his week until he comes across a tin of jewels in his Granny's kitchen. 

Ben's cabbagy Gran tells Ben she stole the jewels and was an international jewel theif. 

Thrilled that his Grandma has more to her than the stench of cabbage and a fondness of Scrabble, they plan the ultimate heist. 

What could possibly go wrong?! 

The book is thoroughly entertaining for young and old alike (even Granny's) and has a poignant message at the end. 

Hurrah to all the 'Gangsta Granny's!' If you are stuck for your next book to read, try David Walliams on for size, I guarantee you will enjoy it (and so would he! - Damn, there's the Mummy porn bit creeping in- so crude.) 

 

Why Muller yoghurt should pay my rent...

I bought this Muller yoghurt yesterday and noticed on the packaging there was a competition to have your rent paid for a year...

I have decided that instead of entering the competition conventionally (like a normal person) I have written to the people at Muller and given them an explanation for why they should pick me and pay my rent...

1. I am on a diet and I feel that collecting 10 promotional lids (or flaps as I think they should be named - more appropriate) would hinder my progress. (I may have had a Mc Donald's breakfast this morning but it's ok as I ate it really quickly, so the calories don't count). 

2. If I didn't have to pay my rent then I could do more fun stuff like enroll on chocolate making courses and life drawing classes (with real life NAKED men). 

3. I could go to Alton Towers, I know people think it's still a bit dodge at the moment, but I want to show my support as a thrill seeker. 

4. I live in a 1 bedroom flat with my 5 year old, I have a lovely garden but it gets cold in the tent that I sleep in as I only have 1 bed. (Just kidding, I have a sofa bed in the lounge but I had to pull the sympathy card, didn't i?!) 

5. I could give my landlady some more money as a deposit for some fish or a hamster. I took in a cat a while ago and she wasn't happy about that, so maybe I could bribe her and get a pet. Granted, they are not good guard pets but I will make do. I could try and train the hamster, although my last one committed suicide from my bedroom window...actually I don't really like hamsters, but I would definitely get a fish if I could. 

6. I could get my candle business off the ground. I want to call it B's candles and all of my candles would be made to look like little bee's. Who doesn't like cute fluffy bee's? (Apart from those that are allergic. I might be but I have never been stung, so fingers crossed that I'm not, else my whole business will be out of the window). 

I have to buzz off now as I have work (which I wouldn't have to go to as much if you paid my rent for a year), anyway, I hope this is enough for your kind consideration,

Becky (B) 

Oh, one last thing...can I ask what happened to the Mississippi Mud Pie corner? It was my favorite and I would have no problem collecting 20 flaps, it would only take me a couple of days, then I could start my diet after. 

Thanks.  

'I'm not going to drive to school' blah, blah, blah...

When I passed my test and got my car a month ago, the first words out of my mouth were...

'Im not going to drive Scarlett to school unless it's chucking it down. I need the exercise and if it's a nice day then, why wouldn't we walk?' 

So far this week, I have driven 3 out of 3 mornings. 

I seem to be pressing snooze more than ever in the mornings, so by the time we get out of bed at 8am (yes, I know!) it's go, go, Go!!!!! 

It's 8.40 before I know it and after having the 'advantages of the bike over the scooter' argument from Scarlett, we would have to be top athletes to make it to school on time. 

So instead of tapping Pixie (that's my cars name, doesn't yours have one?) on the bonnet and bidding her a good morning, I kiss her bonnet and thank heavens that I have her. 

I don't drive when I pick Scarlett up in the afternoons, so I do get some exercise (but, that's only because of parking restrictions and I would basically have to park further away than it takes to walk).

So, there you have it, another 'oops' in my day (not to be confused with the oops moment in the Tena lady advert). But, look at her...

She is just so pretty! 

Love From Both Sides- Book Review

This book is for anyone and everyone who is or has been in the dating game...

It has dating disaster tales that everyone can relate to, along with dating disasters that thankfully (or hopefully) not everyone can relate to (like shitting into a pedal bin- thankfully I have not been on the receiving end of that). 

The story follows Jamie with his blog posts and Laura with her diary entries and each detail their latest catastrophes with the opposite sex. 

I can guarantee you will be laughing out loud as you read. Pest control rocked up at my door as my neighbour thought a hyena had broken into my flat, I was laughing that much. - No joke.  

Few books have the ability to literally make anyone LOL, and if this book doesn't, you must not have a pulse- or a funny bone in your entire body. 

Talking of bones, Jamie's perky little pecker is talked of a lot ladies, so there is more pleasure packed in the pages than just the laughs. 

If you are looking for the perfect holiday read, or just something to keep you amused on a dull day, then buy this book now! 

365 days of fun...days 13 & 14

Day 13...

I am hands down the worst monopoly player ever, even the junior one...

That is Scarlett victorious after beating me in about 20 minutes. After I took this photo, I sulked in my bedroom for a further 20 minutes while she laughed at me. 

Day 14

We went in a bike ride...

I say we, but my bike stayed exactly where it was in the garden and I walked (I had flip flops on and everyone knows you can't cycle in flip flops). 

Thank goodness I wasn't on my bike pedaling like a loon, as Gary Liniker was on the beach filming a TV advert with some dancing fruit...

But that's not the only view I got...

No that's not the Mediterranean, that's Worthing, West Sussex. Stunning. 

What stunned me more though was when Scarlett's stabilizer broke on her bike and she couldn't ride it, I thought..I know, I will push it over my already broken toe 5 times on the way home! 

If there is screaming and shouting in the background of the advert, sorry! 

 

M & M's...not your average chocolate.

I was in my local Morrisons today, minding my own business, when these jumped out at me and fell into my basket...

I love Ms Brown, so I had to buy them! I'm responsible for hundreds of views on You Tube for the advert she stars in:

'My shell is brown, it only looks like my milk chocolate is showing...'

#sexyandiknowit 

It's hilarious! However, unfortunately as much as I would like to meet her in the shell, I fear it would be pointless entering the competition. 

It is all a big misunderstanding from nearly 10 years ago, but the US embassy won't let me in America as I can't prove that I'm not alcohol dependent. 

I'm not alcohol dependent and have even started a 30 days sober blog, but I haven't finished it yet as I can't get past day 3 for one reason or another. I work in a pub and I have friends that lead me astray (it's not the other way around. Really).

That's not the point, I had an alcohol related incident in my own country (UK), I was 18 and I was given the option of going home or in a police cell. Well, I thought that hanging out with the police would be fun, but I spent the night in a cell and all I got was some cold baked beans for breakfast and an £80 fine. Lesson learnt. 

I am aware that I can't ask you to move the competition to a more convenient location (such as my home town Worthing, West Sussex, just in case you were thinking about it), so I will just have to enjoy the crunchy goodness of these in bed with a glass of wine. 

I will be sharing them with my brother too as he still hasn't forgiven my Mum for stealing a packet of his M and M's while he was asleep over 10 years ago. He can hold a grudge, I've told him to let it go -Frozen style- but he always brings it up at family dinners. #Awkward. 

Anyway, say hi to Ms Brown for me! 

Love Becky X 

Ps. Don't the blue M and M's look like little policemen?! There is your next advert to work on...get cracking! 

Carex- Chocolate Orange Handwash.

I am obsessed with this...

If there was a prize for the amount that someone smells their hands after washing them, I would win it. 

Out with the boring lavender scented products, and in with the deliciously (seriously, I'm tempted to eat it) scented Chocolate Orange. 

I'm not sure if it is advisable, but I've bathed in it, actually, I am right now. It smelt to good that I wanted to be covered in it, though it is making me hungry. 

Weirdly, it's not the first time that I have bathed in your handwash. The bubble gum one got that treatment first. 

Perhaps you could advise if you are planning on expanding your 'fun edition' handwashes by producing bubble baths too. It sure would make my daughter hop in the bath a lot less grudgingly. 

Saying that, she did take a leaf out of my book and I caught her sneaking the handwash into her bath yesterday (she's never seen me do it, but like Mother, like Daughter I guess), I told her it was not for bathing in, with my fingers crossed behind my back. 

Her response to me taking it away was:

'Ahhhhhh, but it smells so good!'

So you have approval from a 5 year old too. 

Must get on as I have an early start tomorrow. I am replacing my handwashes at work tomorrow with this one so I have to get in before everyone else does. 

Thanks for making me smell so good,

Becky. 

Oh, the cola bottle one gets my approval too, but could I make a suggestion? How about a milk bottle scent? Or a milkshake one? I'll leave that with you... 

Ultimate Beauty Superhero...The groovy food company

This is my ultimate beauty superhero...

It may not look like much to you, and the 'food' part might put you off but do not fear, I can tell you that I spread this bad boy all over me from top to toe everyday and I've never looked so good. 

Let's start at the top...

It is a great conditioner for hair and I regularly put if on my ends at night time, which lulls me into sleep with the gentle scent of coconut. 

It has cured me of spots. I was never plagued, but I did always have 2 or 3 pimples that would pop up daily. Weirdly, spreading oil on my face morning, noon and night has banished the little blighters. 

It can be used as an all over body conditioner and a little goes a long way. 

It is great for dry, rough, hands and feet. I looked like a troll before coconut oil, now...less so. 

I put a small dollop of it in my bath (I won't lie, I alternate between coconut oil and chocolate orange handwash...but that's another matter). 

I use it for cooking, baking and making myself look and smell beautiful. The smell gently wafts me back to St Lucia and the beautiful views, then I realise I'm in my bathtub in Sussex and I've been in there for 3 hours. 

It really is the most versatile product and if I could find other uses for it I would...

How about toilet paper enriched with coconut oil?

Or how about a small amount on a sponge by those ruddy little plastic bags in the fruit section of supermarkets? 

I have used a couple of different coconut oils but this one by The groovy food company hits the right spot with me for consistency, texture and scent. 

If you have not used it before the coconut oil is hard when you open it, but once you put it near heat it turns into oil, just like magic! 

If you don't have a pot of coconut oil in your kitchen, bathroom and handbag, go and buy some of this immediately.

It is avaliable in most supermarkets, so there is no excuse to not add it to your shopping list. 

The above pot I purchased in Waitrose (I know, what was I doing in there?!- Far too posh for me, but I needed to use the facilities. I'm more of an Asda girl,where coincidently you can also find this brand of coconut oil) and I paid just over £5.00 for it. 

I can remember the exact price as I used that ridiculous self service robot check out thing and stomped away from the computerized voice shouting at me to take my receipt. So, sorry about that but I'm glad I don't have to pay for any damage to the check out robot. 

Right, enough messing around, stop reading and go out and buy this coconut oil from The groovy food company NOW!!!

The morning after pill under 16 debate...

'That's life' magazine put this on their Facebook page this morning...

The link is an article from the Daily Mirror which says, as above, that the morning after pill has been made available to under 16's. 

The article also states that the pharmacists will ask the girl (wanting the pill) a variety of questions before they are given it and they will also decide whether the girls parents will need to be informed (presumably through her doctor). 

The magazine that posted the link asked if under 16 is too young to be able to get the morning after pill? My view: no. 

Plenty of young people have sex under age and have unwanted pregnancy's through: lack of protection, lack of education, or just through the fact that one of those slippery little sucker sperms got through. 

I think if you make the decision you want to take the pill below 16 to protect against pregnancy, you are questioned by a pharmacist and still want to go ahead with it then why be forced to be stuck with a possible pregnancy that you don't want? An abortion would be a lot harder in the long run. 

Yes, it is young, but we are not all blinkered by the fact that young people have sex. 

People have commented on the above post regarding the question: 

Will it encourage more teens to have underage sex?  

I don't think so, I think the main reason young people have sex is due to lack of education from schools and at home. I wrote a blog not long ago about a teacher taking her students to a sex shop to give them a sex education lesson and wrote my opinion (http://sym-ple1.blogspot.com/2015/06/teacher-takes-children-to-sex-shop-for.html)

It's all relative, sex needs to stop being such a taboo at school and at home.

Below is my comment on the above post... 

What do you think? Should under 16's be allowed the morning after pill? 

Packed lunch panic!

Scarlett has a school trip today and needs a packed lunch, simple right? 

WRONG...

I have never made her a packed lunch for school before as they give her a hot meal at lunch time (thank you government, least my taxes are feeding my child). So now, I am panicking. 

What the hell do I put in it?! It's ok when I'm out on a day trip and I can feed her whatever she wants, but what if I don't make it healthy enough? Or too healthy? Or I don't give her enough?

You see these stories in the paper about these 'bad' mothers that have sent their kids to school with a bar of chocolate in their lunch box and they get scolded by everyone, what if I end up in the paper with the label 'bad' Mother?! 

That's not even the worst part...I don't even have a lunch box in the house, I don't own one! Will a plastic bag suffice? 

No, then she will probably get bullied and get called a bag lady. 

Right, rational thinking......

...

...

...we may be here a while....

...

Ok, will use a takeaway pot as a lunch box (we all keep them don't we? Now I know why!) 

I will make ham sandwiches with best of both bread (healthy, but not too healthy), 4 cheese biscuits, 2 jammy dodgers, a packet of quavers and a banana. Done. 

It's looking a bit beige but I haven't got time to faff (I will stick a sachet of ketchup in to brighten it up a bit- we love ketchup me and Scarlett). Off on her school trip she goes! 

I'll let you know if I end up in the paper or if social services knock at my door...

  

365 days of fun days 10, 11 and 12...

Ok, so I've totally slacked on this but I have been doing stuff every day, I promise! 

This is a really important project for me and I must not give up, so without further delay...365 days of fun continues...

Day 10:

Minions are all the rage at the moment and look at what we have got...

You saw it here first (possibly), Minion Frustration!!!!! The minion on the right was my face when I saw this game. Scarlett got bored after half an hour, so I played it by myself for the next half an hour while she did some drawing. BEST game EVER! 

Day 11:

They really will put anything on a box to make parents buy it, won't they???

 

Frozen cereal is now available in a shop near you! (Though the expiry date is a year after if was made according to the box, so I dread to think what's in it).

However, it tastes quite nice (must be the sugar) and it tastes even better when you melt a family sized bar of white chocolate in the microwave to melt and then chuck some of the cereal in! 

Easiest and quickest 'cakes' ever! 

(Diet starts tomorrow- don't judge.) 

Day 12: 

'Explorers don't give up!' 

See my blog...http://sym-ple1.blogspot.com/2015/06/don-give-up.html 

Have these teddy's got vaginas?

It's the blue/black white/gold debate all over again but this time with a pink teddy, a blue teddy and a vagina. 

This is a picture of the christening cake which has divided the internet...

Do those teddy bears have vaginas or are they (not very well placed) seams? 

The shop which made the cake recieved this complaint...

The first photo is the exact cake the above lady recieved. The shop responded with this...

Blue teddy bear...

I have never studied a bears nether regions as much as I have over the past hour (hot tip: don't type in Google 'teddy bear vagina') but I have come to the conclusion that if I recieved this cake I would have questioned the 'seam'. 

Now that it has been brought to my attention, I can't stop looking at the line inbetween the bears' legs and it's making me feel like I'm being innapropriate. 

Maybe the bears should have the seam going all of the way up, or no seam, or maybe the teddy's should be laying on their fronts (or is that a bit dodgy too?) or how about asking for a cake with a dummy on it instead? 

Mind you, with the wrong baker, that could end up looking innapropriate too...

What do you think??? 

'Explorers don't give up!'

The though of going home and watching Scarlett's Barbie Rupunzel DVD (the TV remote has been missing for a week now and all we can watch is DVDs) filled me with impending doom, so I looked at the dark clouds and to Scarlett who was in a pink party dress as she wanted to look 'pretty' today and she has only worn it once (thinking about it, she hasn't had an invite to a party in a while, maybe I should stop saying she will attend and then forgetting to go on the day...no one sue me) and said:

'We are going on an adventure!' 

I told her we were going to the woods:

Scarlett: 'Like the film into the woods?'

Me: 'Yes, but unfortunately we won't bump into Johnny Depp.' - though I did pray really, REALLY hard that we would.

I scared her at first by telling her to look out for wolves and foxes (note to self: 5 year olds scare easily) but she got into it in the end and came up with the saying:

'Explorers don't give up!' 

When stinging nettles got in our way...

'Explorers don't give up!' 

When we came across a fallen tree (you may recognise it from my previous post)...

'Explorers don't give up!' 

When we came across a slope...

Yeah, you get the gist. 

She was really into our adventure and it made me realise that times like these are important. It's these times that she will remember, not being sat in front of a TV.

After considering stopping 365 days of fun as I was rushing to do things with Scarlett and basically, because I was being selfish (look at previous posts for 365 days of fun)...today I have realised that making more of an effort with her is the most important thing in my life.  

We all need to explore life a bit more and as Scarlett says:

'Explorers don't give up!'  

365 days of fun...day 9

Feed the ducks...

Well, it's all fun and games until someone tries to push you in (thanks Scarlett) yet no one thought it was funny when I threatened to throw her in. 

It was totally unnecessary to be tutted at, I'm pretty sure they had Social Services on speed dial, so we legged it out of the park. 

I was OBVIOUSLY joking, she didn't have her arm bands or swimming costume with her so I would have gotten soaked having to jump in after her and then carry her home. Not practical. 

#365daysoffun 

Inspired by a tree...

Again, this morning Scarlett played the 'I'm sick, my tummy hurts' card. 

So like any good Mother, I dropped her off at school (after peeling her little hands off my leg and wiping her tears away) and ran away as fast as I could. 

I needed to clear my head and ended up here...

Then I saw this...

And wrote this...

I will walk from where you fell,

No last turns or wishing you well,

You thought below, began to swell,

And promised her to never tell.

It's such a damn hard shame,

You had to go and bring the rain,

Woke you, moments, never again,

Pitiful, pathetic, lonely pain. 

When you get what you need,

It's me echoing around 'I'm free!' 

It's me not you that has the key,

Forever I'm gone to let you be. 

If only I had a guitar and a piano, then I could have had a proper Adele moment! 

Oh God, I've gone all emo, must have been the fresh air so early in the morning..right back to writing my murder novel. 

Don't panic, I'm not going actually sing my song/poem. No one needs to watch a vlog of me singing and clutching a 1.5 litre bottle of wine (yes, they exist). 

However, if the above vlog appears on Friday night at 2am, it's my twin and totally NOT me. 

365 days of fun...day 7 & 8

Day 7...

We dressed up as princesses and painted out nails (in between Scarlett  moaning that she was ill) no, I'm not posting the pictures of me wearing the tiara! (I had no make up on so they would scare you!) 

Day 8....

We had a Mummy daughter dinner. Then we went to the beach and tried crabbing but I was in high heels and didn't want to touch the rocks so it was just a lot of screaming and tottering around the beach. 

I hope no one else saw!!! If you did, I apologise :/ 

Faking it...

Scarlett Sunday night: 'I still don't feel well.'

She had been moaning all day that her tummy hurt then 20 minutes later she would be jumping around and singing at the top of her voice. Hmm ill? Yeah right! 

Me: 'It's bed time, get some sleep and you will feel better in the morning.'

Scarlett: 'Mummy...I think I have a baby in my tummy. Do I? 

Me: (in fits of giggles) 'I don't think so darling.'

Scarlett: 'I think it's a boy baby, and I'm going to call him Joseph.'

Me: 'Ok, night.'

Yesterday she moaned that her tummy hurt so she couldn't go to school. She then spent the day messing around inbetween moaning, clutching a sick bowl and fake gagging. 

Then today, just as we were outside school she started crying and said:

'I don't want to go to school...my tummy hurts.' 

I took her in and she clung onto my leg and cried. After about 5 minutes of me trying to talk to her, the teaching assistant took her (still crying) into the class and her teacher came out to talk to me.

Turns out they have noticed a change in her over the past 3 weeks. She's not playing with the boys anymore but with the girls and she has been generally quieter. 

I felt like the worlds worst Mother as I walked home and left her at school when she clearly didn't want to be there but what could I do? Take her home and wrap her up in cotton wool? 

I tried to talk to her after school today but she said no one was being horrible to her, but I know something is going on.  

She has been through a lot in her little life and looking back over the past few weeks she has brought up situations that happened well over 6 months ago with me and my ex that she has started asking questions about. 

She also keeps asking after him and everything we do at the moment, she brings back to him. 

I took her out for dinner tonight and it was to a restaurant that me, her and my ex went to in Febuary. Practically every other scentence, she mentioned him.  

If she is not being bullied, then I think her withdrawal from her friends can only be because she is concerning herself with things that are out of her control. 

She may be just 5 (big 5, as she says) but she takes in a lot more that I ever realised. Maybe we are both faking it and it's time to be honest with each other. 

365 days of fun...day 6

Cooking together...

Well, not really together. Scarlett wasn't over keen in helping as she didn't feel well, so instead she made a slide off the bed and screamed her head off. I might have joined in a little bit and forgot about the pasta. 

That's another pan going in the bin then...

Oh and now she feels sick again and has gone to bed with a bowl and a blanket. Oops. 

365 days of fun...day 5

Biscuit decorating...

Just use these...

For hours of entertainment. You can be more creative than we were, I'm a bit lacking in the art imagination area- the smiley face is the one I did. 

However, it is surprisingly fun. I named my biscuit Rachel, Rachel Rich Tea. 

I have used past tense as she is now no longer with us, but she was good while she lasted. 

So long Rachel. 

365 days of fun...day 4

Bubble fight!!!!!!

I bought these in Morrisons for 30p earlier...

Me and Scarlett are going to have a bubble sword fight!

I don't know who's more excited, me or her. 

Must get on as I need to find a shower cap before we start (I don't want to mess up my hair) I will post photos of the carnage later...

(Like the page below to see the photos) 

365 days of fun...day 3

Cake making day! 

I found this Frozen cupcake kit in Poundland and Scarlett's face lit up (poor thing, I didn't have the heart to tell her they wouldn't come out like the picture on the box). 

Easy and simple to make they said...1 bowl, an egg, a bit of butter and some water...Bob's your Uncle, Fanny's your Aunt, (oh and 10 minutes in an oven- remember to turn it on, that may sound like an easy instruction but for some of us, it's not) and you have some just about eatable cupcakes...mmm! 

It may be a good idea to have back up, store bought cupcakes just in case you are not Delia Smith or that old woman from the British bake off programme. 

I haven't posted a picture of our cupcakes as I don't want to embarrass myself (warning- they are not supposed to be black).

Happy Cupcaking!!!   

365 days of fun...day 2.

Collage making...

Cut up bits of magazines and leaflets and stick them on a bit of cardboard or paper. You can be more imaginative than us, but Scsrlett was more interested in the glue and Sellotape than anything!! 

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