Take note- online dating tips!

10 Online dating tips (that obviously as i have made them up i have adhered to....)  Don’t say the usual blah blah crap like ‘I like music, dogs and chocolate.’ Or ‘I'm just a normal girl/guy (Normal people do not exist.) give a little bit more about yourself away what music do you like, if you have been to any gigs recently, give them something to go on.  Try and stalk him, if you can get his full name and see if you can find him on social networking sites, it also helps to verify he/she is who they say they are. Google is also a good one, you just have to hope they don’t have a very common name.  Don’t put up too many selfies! Yes we all love to do it but don’t be too snap happy, put things up of you doing what you enjoy, not just poses.  If someone messages you, take the time to go through their profile. If you like what you see message back, if not don’t reply.  Don’t respond to all of the messages you get if you’re not interested! You will soon be having conversations with 20 people half of which you don’t even particularly like.  Be honest. You will soon be caught out if you say in your profile that you are a non smoking 25 year old model, when in reality fag and food breaks take up the majority of your day.  If there is no photo, there is a reason why and it usually starts with girl and ends with friend.  If they haven’t responded in a couple of days then they are not interested. Don’t bombard them with messages, if someone like you they will soon let you know.  In your profile be short and sweet, don’t ramble on forever. Don’t put lots of dislikes be positive no one likes a pessimist.  Enjoy the attention, even if they are not for you, just smile to yourself and appreciate that someone has made the effort to contact you! Right well I’m off to go through my new matches, fingers crossed for Johnny Depp. ;)

Ok i admit it- i'm a stalker

I am sooo sorry I haven’t posted in a while, life get’s in the way, the internet plays up and I have stalking to do. You know just the usual things. I have got a bit of a crush on someone, I have know him for ages but recently something has shifted, I saw him at the weekend and we talked for ages, even had a cheeky kiss and now I literally can’t stop thinking about him. I haven’t felt like this for ages, the whole she bang, butterflies whenever I think about him, smile and feel really happy when he messages me, excited when my phone goes off as it may be him. god I'm such a loser, I don’t want to fall off that cliff again but I thinkit may be too late. I have been through his whole Facebook profile from 2008 to now, I know what he likes, what he doesn’t like, what he has been through, injuries, achievements, women. I like him more every time I go thought his pictures, which Is a lot as there are lots of topless ones. I do have another interest, and have stalked him a bit too oh God, what am I turning into?! Ok no more Facebook for the rest of the day (It’s 23.59) My 8 hour diet plan Is going really well, I have only had a couple of setbacks with a burger after a night out but my size ten jeans now fit me perfectly again. It may be because I have become a gym bunny again, after a friendly kick up the bum I have rediscovered my love for looking really hot and sweaty at the gym. My original plan of meeting guys there is never going to work, I go bright red after literally 5 seconds, actually I sweat before I even get in there just at the thought of working out, but the spa after is well worth it. Oh apologies if anyone saw my bum the other day, the wind picked up from nowhere, so I had to walk around town with my hands glued to my bum to stop my un-wind friendly dress blowing up. I drunkenly re installed the Plenty of Fish dating app on my phone, there are still plenty of pricks on there, don’t message me and tell me you have a girlfriend but do I want to hook up for sex, no I don’t, get a life. don’t tell me you just want me for sex, I admire the honesty but stop being stingy and go on a paid sex dating site if that's what you are after. I have started to compile my updated online dating tips, it’s my third time on this site and I don’t even know why I am on it, maybe I will drunkenly delete it. A article came up in the paper the other day asking whether men should pay for everything on the first date, YES. I have had enough of guys taking me for a ride, the first date Is a chance for the man to show what he has got, to show he has money to support a woman, that he has some old fashioned values. If I get my purse out I want to be told to put it away, I am all for equality on the second date but first date show us what you have got guys. Well may have kicked myself in the face with that last paragraph, no one will want to date me now ahhhh noooo what will my life come to? Well I’m thinking of adopting rats, so maybe that may be a better idea anyway.... Oh and as for the squat challenge, yea that didn’t work out, swapped it for the sit up challenge, you can guess how that's gone. Nightums, I need to look at Facebook one last time for sweet dreams.