Female columnist required

I applied for a job today as a female columnist writing about the perils of relationships.

Perfect I thought, this job has my name written all over it.

So I fired off my application, this is it exactly as I emailed it...

Put two men, six kids and one woman in one house, what do you get? Complete and utter chaos.

That was my life up until a week ago when I left them all behind to follow my dream to become a journalist in London.

I will explain a few things first before you think I am the most selfish mother and partner on the planet.

Only one of the six children is mine by blood, three of the children are my boyfriends and the last two belong to my boyfriend’s housemate who is an incurable romantic, he needs training though as he thinks oven chips can be cooked in the microwave and don’t get me started on the toilet.

My relationship is pretty fresh at four months old, but my boyfriend knows me inside out (he really does, don’t roll your eyes), so far we have only had one argument...over chocolate.

There is one thing a man should never come between – a woman and her chocolate. There was nearly blood spilt.

Our other tribulation was my decision to abandon him and move to London for the next three months.

My daughter is with her dad during the week and I have her at weekends. As I will be commuting back home for the weekends, my decision doesn’t affect her too much.

My boyfriend is brilliant and says he supports me but I do find myself questioning him, especially after a glass of wine or two.

Am I doing the right thing?

Have I considered his feelings enough?

Is our relationship strong enough to survive?

And the most important...

Will I bump into Johnny Depp?

My star sign in today’s paper said to trust my instincts as exciting times are ahead. I hope whoever wrote that is not giving me false hope.



Written by Rebecca Frew, blogger at sym-ple1.blogspot.com

Here are a few links to my blogs:

http://sym-ple1.blogspot.com/2015/11/10-things-i-have-learnt-living-with-two.html

http://sym-ple1.blogspot.com/2015/12/five-things-i-learnt-looking-after-3.html

http://sym-ple1.blogspot.com/2016/01/london-life-week-end.html


Please consider me for the position of your new female columnist.

Thank you,

Rebecca Frew

SYM-ple (Single Yummy Mummy- I know, I named my blog in a moment of madness and now I can't change it. I will have to think of another word for the S now....Sexy Yummy Mummy, no I'm not sure about that either.

I will work on it and just to be clear, we don't all live on a caravan site (what with having six kids in all), we only have all six every other weekend and we live in a lovely 4 bedroom semi-detached house in Angmering.

I like to think of myself of the Victoria Beckham of Sussex, just without the money or the fashion sense- though I do wear heels all of the time and a lot of black.

I received an email back a few hours later:

Hi Bex,

Thank you very much for applying - unfortunately I have decided to chose someone else, although your writing is good. We needed a childless writer on the dating scene!

I will keep you in mind for future features.


I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

A childless writer? I thought the days of wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw were over because it is so outdated.

I'm disappointed that because I have a child it seems I am irrelevant in the dating scene, does it make me uncool and unreadable having a child or six?

Even Bridget Jones, writer, inspiration, and pillar of strength for women everywhere now has a child.

I understand they want some young hip girl going out into the dating world to write about as many disasters as she can, but what about the real relationships?

Do people not want to know what happens after the happy ending?

What about writing and reading about real life?

What about the perils of being in a relationship wit kids and work and stress and money and LIFE.

Or am I just too old and irrelevant for people to care?

Are childless writers more exciting and vibrant than as seemingly dowdy mothers?

My head hurts, I'm going to bed and it's not even 9pm. Maybe that says it all....