10 things I have learned living with two guys

Living with one man is hard enough (though I will give credit where it is due, my boyfriend is a brilliant housewife at the weekends), but my boyfriend has a housemate and two men, one woman, and every other weekend six kids crammed into one space can be testing at times to say the least.

It is not the kids that are the problem though, it's the grown men.

Here are 10 things I have learnt while living with both of them, which may be tips for you if you find yourself in the same boat as me.

(If you are, call me, we need to go out for a well deserved drink!)


1. Toilet paper needs to be bought by the truckload.

For some reason every other day we run out of toilet paper. I'm not quite sure what we all do with it, There are three toilets in the house and yet when I looked in each of them this morning, there were two tiny squares left on one lonely roll.


2. Number 2's.

Men seem to think that toilets clean themselves, or that little poo cleaning fairies come along in the night with their teeny tiny toilet brushes and scrub away. I cleaned all three when I moved in as yellow/ orange is not the colour the bottom of a toilet should be. My boyfriend's response to me telling him to go into each bathroom and inspect the toilet: "Oh, I didn't realise they were white."
My response: "Make sure they stay like that because I'm not doing it again."

3. Nothing is off limits.

Men talk as women expect them too, it's sex, sex, sex. I have problem talking about it, and can happily chat about it for hours but 24/7 is a bit tedious and sometimes I just want to talk to someone about what has been going on it Corrie.


4. New words will be learned.

Chad= Arse. Did you know that? Nope me neither, there are copious amounts of other words that I have learnt since being in the company of two men, however they are too rude to write here.


5. People presume I am having a threesome.

That is not the case, though walking out of the front door sandwiched between two men may look a little suspicious. It's hard enough to keep up with one man, let alone two. Sometimes a girl just needs a bath and an early night - ALONE.


6. The oven and hob get neglected.

Those magical fairies in blokes minds (the ones I live with), must be working overtime. They believe there is one who pops on her rubber gloves, gets her Mr Muscle out and cleans the food grease out of the oven and off the hob. Oh, and the walls and ceiling. (How? I don't know.)

7. Nothing has a 'place'.

Everything is just left where it was discarded. I am not the tidiest person in the world, but there are socks that have been left behind the bathroom sink for days which I refuse to put in the washing machine. (They are still there, today is day five.)


8. "I promise we will not come back drunk."

This needs no explanation. Though I do need to go and see a chiropractor after I hauled my boyfriend up 2 flights of stairs last week when he went out for 'an hour' with his housemate.

9. Clothing is essential.

Walking around naked if you just live with your boyfriend would be acceptable, walking around naked with your boyfriend and his housemate in tow is not good. I forget all of the time there is another male in the house and walk out of the bedroom naked. Luckily, I usually only make it halfway down to the first floor before I have realised and run back upstairs to cover my 'Bridget Jones' wobbly bits.


10. Guys are actually really good at giving advice. The three of us have had some fantastic nights in and out discussing relationships and life. I have come to the conclusion that I am actually pretty lucky to live with both of them, even if I do have to morph into a magical fairy.

(Though there will come a time Bill, when we want you to move out- just saying, don't get too comfortable.)

Official mud monster

I thought a 5k race would take me half an hour, what a fool!

I stupidly didn’t read what I was getting myself into because I just wanted the title of ‘Mud Monster’.

Why? I don’t know because I don’t even like mud that much, even less so now that I am still picking it out of my ears over a week later.

As for the race taking half an hour, I misjudged that by about an hour and a half.

Thank goodness I went for the 5k race and didn’t push myself to do the 10k or even the 20k race, I am not exaggerating when I say that I would not be here right now, I’m pretty sure I would have ended up in hospital.

It started off ok, the sun was shining and we did a gentle warm up before we set off, I though it was a lovely way to spend a Sunday.

The first challenge were hay bales that were covered in plastic sheeting, I thought at the time that it was going to be easy if that was what it was going to be like the whole way round, but by thinking that, I stupidly set myself up for an epic fall into a deep, muddy bog.

I had images of the moment in Titanic when Jack and Rose were in the ocean freezing to death, when my body fell not so gracefully into the brown water.

Screaming didn’t help as that only made another place for the mud to go.

I ran as fast as I could when I had clawed myself out of the hole, but I just looked like a was one of those cartoon characters where their legs move but they don’t go anywhere because the grass was so slippery.

Laughter really is the best medicine in situations like that and it really helped me get around the course.

I completely forgot about the hay bales at the beginning of the course as I climbed under cargo nets, over walls and carried tyres-which I have added to the list of things I hate, I can honestly say that I will never carry a tyre again in my life.

What took me by surprise more than anything else though were the other people that I was with. Being on my own, I was very vulnerable. The course was slippery and relentless but whenever I came to a part where I needed help, there was always someone there for me.

They encouraged me, and at one point a group of boys even held a branch for me to grab hold of when I couldn’t get out of a bog. I will always be grateful to everyone that helped me because I really, truthfully couldn’t have got through it by myself. It wasn’t physical possible.

The hardest part was when I came to a sign that said I had run 2k, which meant that I still had 3k to go. I felt like crying.

I’m not one to give up, but at that moment I wanted to scream and walk away. The trouble was that I was in 170 acres of fields and had no idea how to get back, my only option was to suck it up carry on with the rest of the course.

Eventually after nearly two hours, I made it to the end of the course happier than ever to see a shower- even though it was a cold one.

Though it was an experience and I am glad that I did it, I think that for the next few Sundays I will stay on my sofa and earn the title of ‘biscuit monster’.

"Oh, hello you look lovely today."

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

Everything has been manic over the past few weeks, Christmas has come knocking (how on earth did that happen?) and I don't even remember Easter happening.

Everything in life has been going well, Scarlett is now six and cheekier than ever. I am no longer a spinster, I have nearly finished my journalism course and will be an intern at a magazine in London in the new year which means I will be living there during the week. Life is pretty good at the moment, for me anyway.

There have been horrors going on in the world throughout the year, atrocities which are becoming more and more frequent. It makes everything around us seem a little darker and today I woke up and thought, why not try to spread some happiness and share some light.

My idea is simple (obviously), a compliment a day to a stranger.

I kicked off today by telling a woman what beautiful colour nail varnish she had. She looked genuinely pleased and we had a chat for about five minutes about our nails.

That is all it could take to make someone's day become a little brighter.

I am aware I am not Mother Theresa, but why not try and be a bit more positive?

I will tweet everyday with #acomplimentaday and hopefully it will catch on and everyone can share the compliments they have said to strangers.

Interview with local businessman Richard Ruthven owner of Charlene's Chocolate Factory.

Local chocolatier Richard Ruthven took his passion and sweet tooth to create Charlene's Chocolate Factory, which he launched in April 2015 after the birth of his daughter Charlene. He creates unusual but delicious combinations of flavours, which look almost too good to eat. Richard also creates bespoke bars for even the most unconventional of ideas, so get thinking and get in touch with him.

Here Richard takes us from the beginning of Charlene's Chocolate Factory, to where he is now just a few months later...


How did the idea for Charlene's Chocolate Factory come about?

I have been a chef for over 12 years and have always had a passion for desserts and sweet dishes. Chocolate has always been an interest of mine. So when my daughter was born I was inspired to start my own business. Currently 10% of the profits go to her and I aim to increase that as we grow as a company.


How easy was it to make your idea a reality?

Easy in one sense, hard in another. It is easy to set up, but it's really hard to get the branding right and to get your name out there. Marketing is a full time job sometimes.


Did you have any set-backs while setting up Charlene's Chocolate Factory?

It was hard getting the name and branding right, I went through 3 or 4 different names and brand ideas before settling on Charlene's Chocolate Factory.

What is the best part about owning Charlene's Chocolate Factory?
Being my own boss and being able to be as creative as I want. I often don't like just doing the norm and I like to always push boundaries and try new things with my cooking. And you don't always get the chance to do that. Although I do need reining in from time to time



What is your favourite flavour of chocolate that you make?

Probably either "semi sweet basil" or "wake me up before you cocoa" and my favourite truffle is "salted caramel with milk chocolate & chilli".


What is the most unusual flavour chocolate you have made?

Probably "love it or hate it" marmite chocolate is always guaranteed to get a reaction, however I have a few unusual flavours like beetroot, basil & rosemary.


Have you had any flavouring blunders that were just too wrong to be right?

Not really, I did try bacon and maple the taste was ok but the texture needs work. Apart from that my first version of basil was a disaster then I eventually got it right


Is there a chocolate which has been discontinued in shops which you would love to bring back?

I always loved Wonka exploder bars, so I would love to do a dark or triple chocolate version.


Do you have any help with the chocolate tasting and testing?

Most of the time I rely on my own palette but I always try out my new recipes on family, friends and I might try them out as samples at events.


What are your future plans for Charlene's Chocolate Factory?

I would love to open a shop specialising in hand made truffles as well as our bars. I have so many ideas that I want to do which would only translate well if I had a shop premises.


Do you have any events coming up which readers can catch you at?

I am currently booked into The Tudor Close Farmers and Craft Market which takes place every second Saturday in Ferring, with the next one taking place on October 10th from 10am. I am also at the Emporium in Worthing town centre every third Saturday, and any local food festivals when I can. I always post where I will be on my Facebook page and I would encourage everyone to like my page for updates on new events and products.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But I bet someone made a good story out of it. 

The above was my motto for finding my stories today.

This afternoon I walked over the A27, climbed through a potentially lethal fence, met some cows and I am here (in a pub), to tell the tale.  

I was on the prowl, exploring my new territory. I had my lead but I had to go on an epic hunt, and an unexpected hike. 

Patcham in Sussex was a place which I hadn't been to before, but now I can safely say that I know my way around quite well. 

When me and my fellow trainees started at journalist works, we were given patches around Brighton to report on and Patcham is one of mine.

I knew a story here that I wanted to work on, so the first thing I did was find a cafe and get some food. Everyone works better with food inside them.

Stomach satisfied, it was time to work.

I wasn't anticipating going on needing walking poles to get around. 

I found myself slipping and sliding down a hill, while dodging dogs and protecting my throat (they can smell my fear!) 

I powered through as I was on a mission and I wanted to get to my story, even if it meant going through the wilderness and encountering my four legged enemies.  

I was glad to discover that if my trek took me into the night, there was food. 

Yes I had just eaten lunch but it's always comforting to know that there is food around.

My best hurdle on my hunt was this bent wire fence.

I don't know if you can see, but it's all bent out of shape. A fence is supposed to keep people out, this one clearly isn't  up to the job. 

Normal people may have turned back and given up, but my daughter aways says: "Explorers don't give up!"

So I did a quick check to make sure it wasn't electric, took the fact that I didn't receive a shock as a good thing and plodded ahead.

Now, I've never been one for heights. I had a panic attack when I was 11 on the climbing apparatus at school and refused to come down as I was too petrified to move.

I was about five foot in the air, so can you imagine what was going through my head when I saw this...

It may not look high in a picture, but I'll tell you, it was more than five foot.  

I closed my eyes walked across the bridge, only to realise I was where I didn't want to be and had to go back over it again.

It was a relief when I found a bench.

There was a note on it to a grandad that passed away two years ago, I found some tiny flowers and placed them on the bench along with my bottom. (The flowers in the picture were with the card when I got there. You can't see the ones I put there.) 

After walking for what felt like days (it had been three hours), I found a pub. 

It wasn't what I was aiming for, (that's a lie, I'm always aiming to get to a pub), but the locals have directed me to what I'm hoping is treasure. 

Curiosity has lead me to a good place. 

The above is Appletiser in a wine glass as I'm driving. It did amuse a few people when I ordered it, but everything tastes better from a wine glass. 

Drill, drill, drill.

Drilling is a battle between my hand, my eyes, my mouth and my head. 

If anything, it feels like I have drilled a hole into the side of my head and that's where all of the shorthand I have been practicing is seeping out of my brain. 

After another drill session last night (is it called drill because you literally have to be as strict as a drill sergeant to not watch Coronation Street and instead do some studying? Oh, how I miss those cobbles), and throwing my pencil across the room in frustration, I formulated a plan. 

I would make my five-year-old daughter Scarlett help me! 

Anyone who has ever flicked through the pages of a shorthand book will know that it looks like another language, so how could a five-year-old possibly understand it? Bear with, it's a good idea, well in my opinion it is. 

I mastered a plan and made cue cards so that Scarlett could hold the cards up, while I read the shorthand word out loud. 

On the back I wrote the word in plain English so that she could read it, as she is a bit slow (lazy), when it comes to reading. 

Ta-dah! Two birds, one stone. We both get our homework done with minimal fuss! 

That was the theory, then came the practice. 

My main hope in making the cue cards was to get used to reading shorthand naturally, and not just as a jumbled up scribble, and I do think that it has helped me. 

By telling Scarlett and my brain that we were playing a game, it didn't seem like hard work. 

Well, until she asked me to explain what I was reading, but I didn't think she was quite ready for the shorthand experience. 

I told her that I would teach her when she was older, maybe. 

Mummy duties completed and part shorthand, I now feel more confident about the words and understand why they are the way that they are in shorthand. 

Now it's back to drilling to really get the words locked in my brain, hopefully the cue cards have plugged the hole and I can smash this shorthand tonight. 

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go. 

One of us - Talk by Al Horner at Journalist Works.

Eminem's song Writers Block includes the lyrics 'I think I'm runnin' out of clichés, I'm gettin' writer's block'.

Well, he made a clanger of a cliché and his biggest mistake writing that he had 'writers block' (which he obviously didn't as he made a song out of it), as writers block is a myth according to Al Horner, deputy editor of NME.com who was our guest speaker today.

Al was speaking as one of us. We listened intently to his every word as a successful editor, who a mere four years ago was in our position as a student at Journalist Works.

He advised us on top tips and gave us examples of how we could improve our writing.

The most important point that I took away from the discussion was to be confident, we ARE journalists. Oh, and of course- writers block is a myth.

Below are the most useful points from the talk that I believe will help me in becoming the best journalist that I can be:

* Find conflict. Challenge the person that you are interviewing.

* Ask the difficult questions first and get stuck in, then ask your other questions.

* Look at your interviewees background, is there something relevant that is happening right now that you can ask them that they can relate to?

* There is politics in everything. Use your subject to paint a broader picture of what is going on in the UK. Try and tap into something bigger.

* Make your intro as compelling as you can, it has to be something that you start reading and can't put down, create intrigue.

* Have faith in your ability as a writer, there is no time for insecurities, you need to hit the ground running.

* Journalism is a confidence game.

* When you think you have finished your piece, read it back and imagine you are reading it to a mate down the pub. -Note that this may not apply to all writing but it is useful to think about in feature writing.

* The best writing is loose, conversational, fun and interesting. (Again, bear in mind who you are writing for, it may not be appropriate in all instances.)

* Go against the grain, write a piece from an angle that the readers may not have thought of before.

* Be brave enough to be unpopular and don't waste time worrying about nasty comments, you literally don't have time for that.

* Care about what your editor, peers and self think about writing the right piece.

* Read everything and anything. Read things from outside of your discipline to find a new angle on a story.

* Don't pitch topics, pitch your story. What is the story? Why are you writing the story? Who are you going to talk to? What steps are you going to take to get the best story?

* Write, write, write. Find websites that you think you could write a piece for and pitch to them stating you will do it for free. (They say nothing comes for free in this life, but you may just get your name out there and who knows where that could lead?)

and lastly

* Writers block is a myth. Just get on with it, look at the above points and get cracking.

Al left me feeling enthused and excited about writing my next feature. My first assignment that I have set myself is to get an interview with Eminem, as I need to inform him that writers block is not a real thing and it is incredibly important that I get this message across to him and all other writers. 

I am a journalist, I can do this! 




(The above picture is of Eminem, not Al Horner, as I was so eager writing down everything he said (with some shorthand too, I was utilising all of my skills), that I didn't actually get a picture of him. I have slapped myself on the wrist for being a bad journalist, it won't happen again!

That is a promise to any of my tutors that may be reading this!