10 things I have learned living with two guys

Living with one man is hard enough (though I will give credit where it is due, my boyfriend is a brilliant housewife at the weekends), but my boyfriend has a housemate and two men, one woman, and every other weekend six kids crammed into one space can be testing at times to say the least.

It is not the kids that are the problem though, it's the grown men.

Here are 10 things I have learnt while living with both of them, which may be tips for you if you find yourself in the same boat as me.

(If you are, call me, we need to go out for a well deserved drink!)


1. Toilet paper needs to be bought by the truckload.

For some reason every other day we run out of toilet paper. I'm not quite sure what we all do with it, There are three toilets in the house and yet when I looked in each of them this morning, there were two tiny squares left on one lonely roll.


2. Number 2's.

Men seem to think that toilets clean themselves, or that little poo cleaning fairies come along in the night with their teeny tiny toilet brushes and scrub away. I cleaned all three when I moved in as yellow/ orange is not the colour the bottom of a toilet should be. My boyfriend's response to me telling him to go into each bathroom and inspect the toilet: "Oh, I didn't realise they were white."
My response: "Make sure they stay like that because I'm not doing it again."

3. Nothing is off limits.

Men talk as women expect them too, it's sex, sex, sex. I have problem talking about it, and can happily chat about it for hours but 24/7 is a bit tedious and sometimes I just want to talk to someone about what has been going on it Corrie.


4. New words will be learned.

Chad= Arse. Did you know that? Nope me neither, there are copious amounts of other words that I have learnt since being in the company of two men, however they are too rude to write here.


5. People presume I am having a threesome.

That is not the case, though walking out of the front door sandwiched between two men may look a little suspicious. It's hard enough to keep up with one man, let alone two. Sometimes a girl just needs a bath and an early night - ALONE.


6. The oven and hob get neglected.

Those magical fairies in blokes minds (the ones I live with), must be working overtime. They believe there is one who pops on her rubber gloves, gets her Mr Muscle out and cleans the food grease out of the oven and off the hob. Oh, and the walls and ceiling. (How? I don't know.)

7. Nothing has a 'place'.

Everything is just left where it was discarded. I am not the tidiest person in the world, but there are socks that have been left behind the bathroom sink for days which I refuse to put in the washing machine. (They are still there, today is day five.)


8. "I promise we will not come back drunk."

This needs no explanation. Though I do need to go and see a chiropractor after I hauled my boyfriend up 2 flights of stairs last week when he went out for 'an hour' with his housemate.

9. Clothing is essential.

Walking around naked if you just live with your boyfriend would be acceptable, walking around naked with your boyfriend and his housemate in tow is not good. I forget all of the time there is another male in the house and walk out of the bedroom naked. Luckily, I usually only make it halfway down to the first floor before I have realised and run back upstairs to cover my 'Bridget Jones' wobbly bits.


10. Guys are actually really good at giving advice. The three of us have had some fantastic nights in and out discussing relationships and life. I have come to the conclusion that I am actually pretty lucky to live with both of them, even if I do have to morph into a magical fairy.

(Though there will come a time Bill, when we want you to move out- just saying, don't get too comfortable.)