Even when playing 'let's get married' in the playground, I would never actually make it to the alter and instead would find another boy to run off with-strangely the same thing happened in my adult life. A premonition maybe?
I've never let myself get too attached to men, so imagine my horror when I became the dumped recently after letting my spinster guard down.
At first I thought nothing of him, he came into the pub where I work and we started chatting. Turned out he was meeting Woman and it was their first date. She arrived 20 minutes later but his expression said it all when he went to the toilet- it wasn't going well.
They left after one drink and that was that. I had a fleeting thought that It would be funny if he came back on his own- only for him to do just that an hour later.
He said he didn't like her and couldn't stop thinking about me and asked for my number. I said yes without hesitation, it was a busy night and I didn't have time to mess around. Maybe that was my first mistake.
We went on a date a few days later. The strap on my shoe broke as I was walking out of the door (a sign to stop and turn back maybe?) but when we hugged and laughed at my unfortunate fashion disaster, the ice broke and we relaxed.
The whole night was spent drinking wine, laughing, shoe strap repairing, smashing glasses (first him, then me- too much wine perhaps?), and then the night was over. He went home alone and so did I.
We texted a lot over the next few days and arranged another date, this time at mine. My second or is it third mistake?
He woke me in the morning by stroking my back and whispered that he had to leave. I grunted (I'm not good with mornings), and said ok.
By 7pm I hadn't heard from him, which was unusual as we had been speaking to each other pretty consistently throughout the previous days. A bit later I recieved a limp 'had a busy day xx' and replied 'I'm at work will text when I can. What are you upto tonight? Xx'
I heard nothing for over 48 hours. I then text him and said 'I'm sorry if I did or said something to upset you. I guess this is goodbye.'
Almost immediately he replied 'No, sorry honey. I'm away in Holland on business. I'll call you at the end of the week xx'
That was nearly 3 weeks ago. I'm so annoyed that I let my guard down and let him know that I was keen. I never do that but there was something about him.
I don't really understand why I took such a shine to him. For a start he was 21 years older than me, he has 3 kids and lives over half an hours drive away but, I just can't get over being rejected.
I was a reject virgin, and now my virginity has been taken it is as disappointing as, well, having one's virginity taken.
What is bugging me the most is how he was as hot as a volcano one minute, then colder than the iceberg that downed the Titanic.
The shame is making me want to disappear off the face of the earth, mind you, I could just go to 'Holland' as that seems to work too.
I'm currently reading a book called 'unsuitable men' by Pippa Wright...
Maybe my dating disaster was a learning curve and I should all be working my way through the wrong men before I find the 'right one', or even the just 'he'll do' one.
When I upload my Plenty of Fish profile again (as I inevitably will as I have been off it for a record 3 months and I'm getting bored of being a spinster), my tag line will be 'Unsuitiable men- please apply here...'
I wonder what kind of dirty messages the little fishes could come up with?
Stay tuned. I'm going to live the unsuitable men dating experience for real- who am I kidding? I've already been doing it for years, I'm a pro!
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