Basically, she is having a grumble that her kids have taken over her life and marriage. She has an 11 year old girl and 14 year old boy, hardly incapable of looking after themselves, but I'll take you through the article and you can make your own mind up.
She begins by being peeved that her 11 year old gets into her bed after a bad dream - damn that little girl for wanting some affection from her Mother.
She then says that she can't remember the last time she snuggled up to her husband or held his hand. I would say that it's her that needs to make a bit more effort then. She has a teenager and a pre teen so they are hardly demanding toddlers. She should go for a walk, pop the reigns which she has on her children into one hand and the other she can join with her husbands. Magic!
'The problem is our children are our constant companions.' Bloody flesh and blood getting in the way again and starting family rifts. Her children should be ashamed of themselves. Mind you, I am worried about them. Why are they not locked in their rooms screaming 'I hate you!' While listening to heavy metal? She must be going wrong somewhere in this parenting malarkey.
'Luke (her husband) and I have our own childhood issues- my husband's parents were died in a car crash when he was eight, while I went to boarding school from the age of 11. We want to stay close to our children.' But not too close as to block her from snuggling with her husband. Though, boarding school does seem like the best compromise if they are 'blighting' her marriage.
'We love them hugely and my life would be incomplete without our children, but since we've had them, they have taken over our lives, sometimes to the detriment of our relationship.' I find it hard to believe that when this woman had the amazing miracle of pregnancy bestowed upon her, she didn't stop and think 'Ah, now I must think carefully about this. This is a life changing decision and this little pea will be peeing me off for the rest of my life. Do I really want this or should me and hubby just have fabulous holidays like we do now?' She discusses her holidays, pre-children, but I'm not going into it. It's pointless, they are a distant memory for her now and I don't want to upset her even more by reminding her about how much easier things were before she had her kids.
'Our children spill over into all aspects of our lives...'
'Our philosophy is that we want them to feel secure and loved, so that they will grow into confident adults, but that's been at the expense of any dividing line between their world and ours.' Well I hope her children are unable to read, because if my Mother had written this, I would feel far from secure. I would feel like she had just pushed me off the top of a bridge without a harness to save me.
Kate then carries on about only having a handful of nights away from her children. Again, I feel that looking at boarding school options may relieve her of this problem.
'This isn't how I imagined my life with my husband to be.' I can picture her writing that scentence, fanning away the tears as her children chuckle away to themselves as they lay in her bed, after having 'bad dreams'.
'Although now it's easier now that the children are older, it still feels as though they need constant care and attention.' Yes my dear, that is because (as you stated) they are CHILDREN. It's odd that they don't snap into adults the moment they turn ten. They should have moved out and got steady jobs by then surely?
Her final paragraph...'Ideally, we would have three child-free days a month to remember that we are not just parents to out children, but a man and a woman in a loving relationship.' Parents don't get days off (unless you are a single parent, but as she wants more snuggles, I won't advise her to split up with him- though she would get her child free days), it seems as though this woman made a decision to have children which now with hind sight, may not have been the best option for her.
She said she loved them in one paragraph and then groaned that they have taken over her life in another. What did she expect?!
All I took from her 'article' is that she needs to talk to someone professional. She is not going to wake up one day and her children will be independent. I lean on my parents daily, as I expect my daughter to because I am her Mother and that is what I am there for.
I am adopted, my parents were not lucky enough to be blessed with children of their own so they got me (they did look at boarding school options for a while but I promised to stop with the heavy metal music and they were fine). What about the parents who will never be able to have 'child-free days' because they have disabled children. At least one day her children will be independent, some parents have to accept the reality that their children will be living at home for the rest of their lives- be that of the child or the parents.
Being a parent is for life, maybe she should have thought about that before snuggling her husband in the first place.
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