Scarlett's blog 16.8.15

I'm sure you have already been told of my recent humiliation from Mother, but just in case you missed it- I had nits 

I must stress the HAD part, as I am happy to declare that I am now nit free. 

Not a nasty nit or egg has been sighted in days. Mind you it's a wonder that I have any hair left, the amount the Mother has been tugging at it. 

She cheered every time she pulled an egg out and seemed disappointed when she couldn't find any tonight. 

She could be on CSI (I know about that programme because I caught her dribbling all over one of the blokes the other week. I was bored at bedtime and sneaked up on her), she went through my hair one strand at a time. I hope I don't get them again because she seemed to revel in it too much. 

I'm not too sure how I got them in the first place. I don't usually play with girls when I'm out, the boys usually latch onto me, but this crafty little female showed me her Elsa top so I followed her around plotted how to steal it off her. 

The deceitful girl hugged me and gave me her friends. I'm not saying nits are sexist but, it's usually us females that bear the brunt of the mites. We can't just shave our hair off, we would look horrific! 

However, while having my hair ripped out a couple of days ago, I had a lightbulb moment regarding what I want to be when I'm older- I want be an actress. 

I told Mummy and she said she would look into some classes. I would have been waiting until I was 30 for her to pull her finger out, so I went to Grandma instead. She said the best way to start was to dance first and booked me in for ballet and tap next week, if I like it them Grandma said we will look at acting classes. I need flare Grandma said, so flare she will get. Sassy Scarlett will be born. 

I've explored other job options such as a vet but Mummy said that I shouldn't pursue that career as I stamped on a snail and laughed the other day. 

She also commented that I shouldn't work in the medical profession as slapping her bum and calling her fat does not qualify me as a doctor. 

So watch out for me, I'm coming to a screen near you soon...

That's me method acting, being a cow. 

I've got this acting malarkey down to a moo.