A well used pencil

While laying in bed last night and unable to sleep I thought about how I would describe myself in one sentence... 

A well used pencil. 

Now, I'm not the bluntest pencil in the pot but I am aware that I am not the sharpest either. 

I was thinking about helping out at Scarlett's school with reading but I'm giving it second thoughts now. What happens if the 5 year olds are smarter than me? 

What happens if there was a really smart 5 year old and there was a word I didn't know? The dictionary is huge, so I know I don't know all of the words in there, what happens if I became...

'Scarletts mum, you know, the thick one.' 

There are lots of days where I think, I should have done more and not long ago, I even blogged about celebrating ourselves and bigging (that's not a word, is it?) ourselves up not down. 

I am scared it won't be long before I can't help Scarlett with her homework as I won't have a clue how to. Maybe I should go and sit in the lessons myself so I can be taught too? 

I'm panicking as I want Scarlett to be top of the class and fly through school with ease. People say she has my brains but they are not going to get her very far in life! 

I don't want this to be another tick on the list of things I have failed at as a parent. 

Scarlett said the word 'hilarious' yesterday for the first time in the right context and I gave her a high 5 but should she already know that word? 

There was a letter in her school bag the other day about a phonics meeting for parents one day this week but as I don't have Scarlett for most of the week and the letter has now dissapeared. 

The letter regarding the 'missing library book' that I have to pay a fiver for has also gone walkies. 

I will now have to speak to the teacher about both of the above and look like a disorganised person that loses everything and look like a useless Mother. 

What is being a Mother? 

I'm going to the library to ponder that question and to read some books to sharpen myself.