Post baby sex

After having a baby, sex will probably be the last thing on your mind but for me it was one of the most daunting parts of life after a baby so after my experience, I have come up with some points to help you. 

There should be no rush to have sex again once you have had a baby. You need to feel relaxed and ready but when the time comes and YOU feel ready, take these points into consideration...

• Find yourself. 

Your body had just been through the most intense experience and you may think that things down there are not the same. Pelvic floor exercises will have been drilled into you from all sides (and you may remember to do them once a day, but it's not guaranteed. You have a newborn to think of first) but take the time to explore yourself again. 

When the thoughts if sex creep back in (which may be after 6 weeks or 6 months) run yourself a nice bath, light some candles and explore down there. 

Try tightening your pelvic floor muscles while touching yourself. Some women can orgasm alone from just squeezing their pelvic floor muscles but if you are not one of the lucky ones (who are they?!) try combining squeezing your muscles and stroking yourself. 

You may still feel tender and not ready but when you feel pleasure again it will make you more relaxed and less tense. 

• Slip into something a little less comfortable. 

No you may not like the sound of it but trust me you will feel better. Instead of laying there and 'getting it over with' put some effort in. 

Yes I know the last thing you want to do is have sex for the hour that the baby is actually asleep but don't think of it as a chore. Think of the reward you can get out of it and the bond between you and your partner when you can enjoy each other again as a couple and not as Mummy and Daddy.  

Get him to have the baby and get it to sleep while you get ready. Have a bath, shave, shave, shave, and when you get out, use that baby oil to moisturise all over. 

Put on the sexiest outfit you own and the ridiculously high stilettos at the back of your wardrobe (you won't be walking far) and spent some quality alone time just you and your man. 

Just be careful you don't wake the baby back up. 

• Use a Lubricant. 

And lots of it. The smoother and the sleeker, the better. 

• You don't HAVE to have sex. 

Try just using your hands and mouths. You can both still both enjoy the benefits and feel satisfied without full penetration. 

• Watch out for nips and slips. 

First time sex after a baby will definitely be a new experience. There will be leaky bits, wobbly bits and sloppy bits but just relax and remember you are an amazing woman. 

• Don't forget your man. This is a journey for both of you and sex is a part of your relationship which you should both enjoy and while he may need to learn to be more patient when it comes to sex, don't forget to make him feel loved too. 

Motherhood may seem like an impossible task at times but YOU can do it! You don't have to do all of the above, do what feels right for you and enjoy it!