Soggy bottoms. #diaryofafiveyearold

Soggy bottoms are the last thing that we need to worry about in our house, it's the burnt bottoms that need attention. 

I'm Mary Berry in child form, I'm forever asking Mummy to bake with me and I feel a certain amount of respect for her when she forces a smile as she throws a packet cake mix into our weekly shop. 

Wait, did I say respect? I mean disrespect. A cake mix in a box is offensive to me, Mary and all other fellow bakers. 

Seeing as a box is my only option at Mummy's (thank heavens that my Dad is a chef), I chose this one today...

(That's me on the bottom right.) 

Anyway, the box cake mix routine goes like this:

• Throw the packet labelled 'cake mix' into a bowl (no measuring needed, which is useful as we don't own kitchen scales).

• Stir in an egg (whoop!) 

• Scoop the vile looking concoction into their paper homes. 

• Realise that the oven is not switched on and wait while it heats up. 

• When oven is suitably hot, put the cakes in and hope for the best. 

  

Altogether now: Mmmmmmm! 

I was surprised when ten minutes later they came out beautifully risen and though that Mummy had run to the shop when I wasn't looking. 

 

Apart from a little crusting around the edges, they didn't look too bad. 

I asked to put the icing on straight away and Mummy burnt her hand trying to demonstrate that they were too hot at that moment. 

I will admit that I laughed, but I then offered to kiss it better as her face went all red and blotchy and I thought she was going to cry. 

The 'surprise' in the inside out cakes are chocolate beans. Mummy hacked off the top of the cakes and stuck her finger in the middle to make a hole and instructed me to 'shove the beans in'. 

The 'finger in cake to make a hole' instruction was not on the box, but I went along with it as Mummy said that's what you do when I asked 'why?' for the tenth time. Her face had turned from red to blue, so I didn't challenge her anymore.

The end result looked like this...

 

Not a complete triumph, but there were no soggy bottoms or burnt bottoms in sight. 

That's a winner if you ask me.