Check out my balls...

So, I have been on my health kick recently (ok for 2 days and this morning I ate pizza), but I am trying to be a bit healthier. 

I bought Madeleine's book in Sainsburys for £10.00 after reading a review about it in Simply Worthing and Adur magazine...

 

Yesterday I tried making cauliflower pizza as it was one of the easiest recipes...

Weird as it may seem, I hadn't ever bought or eaten cauliflower before. I struggled to understand how I was supposed to seperate the cauliflower from the surrounding leaves and threw it accross the kitchen in frustration. 

Composure regained, I blended the battered cauliflower as instructed. 

Have you ever blended cauliflower? Try it, It smells, really, really bad. 

Before I had even got to the second paragraph of the recipe, I knew that I was probably going to be making a call to Papa Johns about an hour later, but I plodded on. 

I didn't end up with a dough as the recipe suggested I should, but that could have been due to the fact that I didn't measure anything as I don't have any weighing scales and plus I didn't want to use too much quinoa flour as it's really expensive. 

When I took my 'pizza' out if the oven, instead of this...

I ended up with this...

Totally the same, right...? 

I had one bite and then it accidentally fell into the bin. I don't think a dog would have eaten it. 

But I am not a giver upper and I decided to turn my attention to balls-superfood chocolate balls! 

As there was no cooking involved, I was pretty optimistic, and I was right to be! 

They are supposed to look like that before you wonder, and they taste really yum. I even put peppermint extract in some of them because -who doesn't love minty chocolate balls? 

I am aware that making a couple of things from a cookery book does not equate to me being a kitchen domestic goddess, but maybe I can glow for a couple of days a week. 

Tonight I will be making orange duck with charted chicory...just kidding, I'm going to Mc Donald's. 

Get nakd...

I have just had a total body foodgasm and the best bit about it- I don't need to feel guilty at all. 

When I saw the nakd cocoa mint flavoured raw fruit and nut bar in my local greengrocers, I had to hold back from snatching it out if the cashiers hand while she was scanning it as I was so desperate to get my taste buds around it. 

My favourite thing in the world is mint chocolate, being on a diet, I've refrained from eating it- but now I don't have to! 

I thought the chocolate orange bar that nakd do was irresistible, but this mint one has just cranked things up a notch. 

Not only is the bar one of my 5 a day (I know, amazing right?!), but it also has just 135 calories in each bar. 

If you don't like the sound of a raw fruit and nut bar, I advise you to not knock it until you have tried it. 

Next time when you are out shopping, get naked- you won't regret it. 

Jodie Gibson's 30 second slim - level 2.

From doing Jodie's 30 second slim level 1 a while ago (ok, a few months ago- I know it's bad, my wobbly bits are even more wobbly since then),I knew as I put the workout DVD on that I would have to put my fat girl pants on, suck it up and get on with it. 

I had one minor setback- I had no dumbbells but it was all good as I improvised and used candles instead, which I figured was better than nothing. 

I find that with most workout DVD's, it helps if there is a nice trainer to focus on (I don't mean shoes), and Josie has a pretty fit trainer in all senses of the word. It just helps to help me keep focused and want to get off the sofa and push myself.

The workout is 20 minutes short. I say short as it was over before I knew it. There is a circuit which consists of 30 seconds of sweat followed by 30 seconds of active rest- be warned it's not really resting, it's just a bit less intense, but before I had time to groan it was into the next move. 

The killer move was the mountain climbers. It involves being in a plank position, then I brought my knee into my elbow, repeated with the other leg, then I brought my other knee into my chest and repeated with the other leg. - I've made it sound really complicated but it's not, it's actually quite enjoyable. 

'If your abs are not hurting, you are not working hard enough' said the trainer James. My abs are still burning, so I've patted myself on the back. 

There was one circuit which we repeated twice, I swear I was finished before I knew it and was disappointed as it had gone so quick- though I didn't put on the final level (3), as I'm saving that to look forward to (I'm not even being sarcastic), next week. 

Thank you Josie and James for another kick arse workout, see you next week! 

I cheated on my fiancée but Deidre said to keep quiet...

I was just reading the agony aunt page Dear Deidre in The Sun from 2 days ago (I'm a bit behind and I'm just catching up), when I came across this letter...

 

(Sorry, I circled it because I wanted to remind myself to blog about it, and because I was angry.) 

The letter to Deidre basically says that he has cheated on his fiancée with a prostitute on his stag do. He explains that he has been with his fiancée for 3 years, and says the only good thing about cheating on her is that 'any temptation (that) is put in front of me again, I will remember how awful I feel right now.' Well, that is a good thing isn't it mate?!  

More shocking than the stupid man that wrote this letter is Deirdre's response. 

Her advice is to NOT tell his fiancée that he has cheated on her. 

'...We all make mistakes, the important thing is to note them and move on. If you find it impossible to keep it in, offload it in confidence.' Hmm nice advice Deidre- not. 

Surely this poor woman deserves to know the truth before she promises to love, honour and obey, forsaking all others? 

I am gobsmacked that an agony aunt could advise him to keep quiet only for this woman to find out later down the line and divorce him because he kept it from her. 

Forgiving a fling on a stag do to me seems a lot easier to forgive than possibly years of lying. 

Besides if this guys mates know, it's only a matter if time before it gets out from one of them when they are drunk- possibly even at her own wedding. 

You have given rubbish and damaging advice Deidre. My advice (my Dear Rebecca column will be in a newspaper near you very shortly), is that it is far better to face the consequences now. This man/mouse should tell his fiancée the truth before it's too late and his dirty little secret destroys both of their lives. 

If they are meant to be together, than they will be, but taking away her choice of deciding if he is the one for her after he has cheated, just seems cruel. 

Pick up the balls that you left in Amsterdam mate and tell the woman you 'love' the truth. 

Oh and Deirdre, maybe it's time to hang up your agony aunt pen- but that's just my advice. 

Swing yourself slender - Empower DVD review...

I stood back and looked at the unfamiliar object in front of me, I had bought it in April and since then it had been out of the box a total of, erm, once. 

When I first bought the object (also know as a kettlebell), I promised myself that it would be my new best friend and that I would use it religiously. Turns out I'm not big on religion, or friends. 

But fear not my kettle friend for today it is you, me and the accompanying workout DVD which you came with when I bought you.

I'm going to give you the love that you deserve, just don't hurt me too much!

The Workout..... 

I didn't push myself too hard (stop with the chorus of 'you never do'), as I want to stick with this workout and not hate it, so today I decided to do the first part of the workout - Swing yourself slender, which is an 11 minute workout with the kettlebell. 

Once I'd completed the warm up and move onto the workout part, the instructor suggested adding more weight if you want to. 

The 2 different colour lower sections are weights that can be taken off or put back on to make the workout more intense. 

I worked out with just the top part which is a 5lb weight. I did try and add more but I skipped the instructions on how to put the weights back on, I can only blame myself as I wanted to get the workout over and done with. 

One word of advice when working with a kettlebell- make sure there is nothing around you, it's not called 'swing yourself fit' for nothing. 

I started off holding the kettlebell and moved my arms in a figure of eight, they were simple enough and can be fun if aeroplane noises are added (that maybe just me though, I'm easily amused). 

The next move was figure of eights (with optional aeroplane noises), with a circle over alternate knees. This move made my body connect with muscles that I didn't even know were there. 

Then I came a move called the the upright row, which is a simple but effective move if the throbbing in my arms was anything to go by. 

Next came the killer move, all workouts have at least one and this DVD was no different. Squat thrusts. 

I put the kettlebell on the floor in front of me, leant down and held the handle with my legs behind me, then I jumped forward, then stood up, did an few upright rows and repeated. 

After the 2nd time on this move, I felt like collapsing- but my motto is, if it hurts, then it's working. 

The instructor Gin (love her name), is smiley and encouraging throughout, and one look at her guns made me remember why I picked up a kettlebell in the first place. 

When rocking the baby (it's an exercise move, you don't require a baby to do this DVD), the instructor says 'This baby is going to sleep whether it likes it or not!' while vigorously rocking the kettlebell, which made me giggle, then I stopped because my and hurt. 

We shuffled next, which I enjoyed as it was nice and simple and then came my new favourite exercise move EVER...Shot put turn and hammer throw.

I held the kettlebell in one hand, swung it and myself around 360 degrees and then lifted the kettlebell to my shoulder where my other hand empty hand was waiting to push it back. 

I felt like an Olympian! It was so fun, I'm going to do it in my spare time. 

As the section I did was only 11 minutes long, I am now raring to complete the next section tomorrow but I mustn't get too enthusiastic as it was a miracle that I didn't break anything today! 

Stay tuned....

Jillian Michaels - banish fat, boost metabolism workout review...

No one should pick up a Jillian Michaels DVD without realising that you will quite literally work your arse off weather you like it or not (unless the DVD player mysteriously stoops working). 

If you are unaware of who she is, she is responsible for kicking the arses of The Biggest Loser contestants in America. With her, working out is no joke. She is full on and hardcore but if you stick with her, you will be shredded in no time. 

First up is the warm up, which consists of light cardio and dynamic stretching- which is basically moving stretches, static stretches while warming up are a no-no. 

Next was the hard part...

The cardio circuit which is the main work out, consists of seven 6 minute circuits. Each circuit is repeated twice, before moving onto the next one. 

First circuit- Kickboxing. My personal favourite. Speaks for it's self, there are punches and kicks. I find it's best to imagine someone you don't like while doing these moves as it tends to give you more power. 

Second circuit- We started with burpees, if you don't know what they are, you have obviously never done a workout before. In this section there is also the jab-cross-hop, 'if you want results, they don't come for free' chirps Jillian. At that moment, I agreed with her as I still felt pumped and strong. I made the mistake of thinking this workout was going to be easy. Boy, was I deluded. 

Third circuit - Started with butt kicks, by now I could feel that Jillian was well and truly kicking my wobbly butt. I was starting to get redder in the face and I was starting to hate her- in a nice way, like everyone loves to hate their trainer. There are roughly 5 exercises in each circuit- well I think, I couldn't really count while panting and trying to breathe.  

Fourth Circuit- Floor circuit, it was a welcome relief to hear I would be on the floor- ha, err no, this is a Jillian Michaels DVD. We started with mountain climbers- I don't think climbing an actual mountain would hurt as much as these do. Then Pipe crunches which are an exercise conducted on your back, but they are relentless- I heard my abs actually cry out. I regretted not hoovering before this circuit though as when I got back up, there were little bits of - well I'm not sure but, I'll be showering anyway so it's irrelevant. Just when I felt like giving up in this circuit Jillian pushed me and said 'You have no idea how strong you are until you try' - power through!  

Fifth Circuit- Back to kickboxing, different exercises but I found my motivation again as I love kickboxing. 

Sixth circuit- We began with jump squats- a killer, so I did squats without the jumping. Jillian said I could, so it's fine. By this point I was flagging and only half heartedly taking part. In my defence, my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest, so I assessed myself as a doctor would and just did a pathetic jog for this section. 

Seventh and final circuit- we started with mobiles (I think they were called, I was delerious by this point), which basically is where you jump and twist 180 degrees. I couldn't do another minute, so I'm not going to lie- I sat on the sofa. I know I'm not going to get ripped with that attitude but if I could just be a bit less wobbly when I run after my daughter, then I'll be happy. 

The last part of the DVD is a 5 minute cool down with stretches. I won't bore you, I'm sure you are aware of what stretching is. 

Now that I've finished I feel amazing, energised and strong. It's those little endorphins pumping again! 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty!' Well, I'm dripping with sweat but 'I feel good, na na na na na, knew that I would, na na na na na!' - or whatever the lyrics are.  

Jillian a parting words are 'we're going to see you tomorrow.' 

Erm, yeah- tomorrow it is (or maybe next week, when I have recovered.) 

Fit freak...

Doing fitness classes at home is a pain in the arse, actually scrap that, I never usually work hard enough to feel any pain anywhere. 

This evening I joined a friend in my first fitness class for well over a year and now, with a banana in hand, I feel empowered!

I feel revitalised, energised -like I could conquer the world! 

I'm inventing a new me...again. I've bought a fitness magazine and the diet really does start tomorrow. 

It should have today but as I had the intention of working out this evening, I have consumed...

• A bowl of coco pops 

• 3 chocolate fingers

• 6 Tuk biscuits 

• A 6 inch baguette with cheese and cream cheese 

• Half a tub of Pringles 

• A banana - in hand, not yet eaten. 

I can already see myself in a string bikini on a beautiful beach tutting at all of the people who claim they will 'start my diet after the holiday.' 

I feel bouncy and happy, those endorphins have well and truly kicked in! 

#happyfacehappyfacehappyface :) 

Right, I'm off for a bath, a read of this...

  

And then I am going to plan world domination- and it's all down to legs, bums and tums.